Retreat. That is what was needed this weekend. I had one of those weeks that kept me tied down and unable to put any effort in my goals. Unable to stay caught up with life’s demands. I was tired and could not focus. Life was getting the best of me. My sleep pattern was off, my exercise patter was off, my eating habits were off. I was just off. So I did the best thing I could of done, I retreated.
The beautiful mountains of Colorado summoned me.
At first I had a hard time convincing myself to pack my bags and go. How could I leave so much undone? Leaving anything undone is something I cannot get myself to do often. Flowers in pots that needed planted, laundry that needed attention, a youth retreat to prepare for, a house that needed cleaned, and an extra day away from my job. I was starting to feel guilty for leaving. But I did what was the best for me, my family, and my co-workers.
As I sit here typing and admiring the view that God has created, I realize that he set this opportunity for me at just the right time. Had I decided to stay home I would of planted those flowers in a manner that lacked the joy I had when I purchased them. I would of stayed home to catch up on chores that would not of feed my soul like the mountain air is doing right now. Staying home I would have forced myself to prepare for a youth retreat when my mind was clouded not allowing my creative side to show. I would have not entered my job with the attitude that it deservers.
I urge you to retreat when your tank is low. Get away. Do this whenever you are feeling as if you cannot accomplish your goals with joy. Don’t force yourself if you do not have a deadline to meet. Push the list away and acknowledge that you need time to refuel your soul. Time to be in pure silence, time to regroup.
I will not always have the opportunity to retreat far from home and leaving my home may not even be an option at times. We can still find a way to retreat if only for a few minutes. Remove yourself from that place of discomfort and go to a different scenery. Close your eyes and take yourself to a place that brings you peace if that’s your only option. Do something to better your state of mind.
In time you begin to breathe better, to feel better. The clouds start to part from your mind . All the creativity and joy begin to peek through the clouds. You are able to return to your tasks with peace and grace.
Retreat: The act or process of moving back or away, especially from something hazardous, formidable, or unpleasant. A period of seclusion, retirement, or solitude.
Share with me how you were able to retreat when you need to refuel. Where are those places you go when you cannot venture too far?
It’s a question I often ask myself. Not that my self worth relies in how people see me but in how they see Him in me. I leave work, meetings, church, or social events hoping I have shown that God’s guidance has been whispering in my ear. In places where tension lives I wonder what others see in me? What lasting impression have I left?
I do not and will never know what every person sees in me when we have been in contact. I am certain that many have not seen Him in me and wonder when my horns will start to grow. At times I will forget to show God’s grace. This week I had the opportunity to hear from several people how they see something within me that they not only appreciate but do not understand. They wonder how I can handle myself with such compassion and passion. They ask how do I handle stressful situations with ease. The answer is that My Strength is in Him.
I end this week with a smile on my face because, I would consider this week to be weak in terms of growth for myself. This week has been a struggle! Accomplishing life’s many demands without feeling I was going to lose it was difficult. God showed me otherwise. For this week He said I got it right. At least for the ones that shared how they see this strength in me and how I touched them personally. For them I left a positive impression. I pray that I can continue this path next week.
Thank you for sharing how I have made your day better, for sharing your struggles and trusting me to pray for you. Thank you for sharing how you watch me in stressful situations and are amazed that I can keep a smile on my face. Thank you for going out of your way to encourage me by your willingness to share how I encourage you. This is what keeps me going, this is what drives me to work hard at whatever project I am currently working on. Giving you the glimpse of Him working in me and through me is my mission and purpose. I will not always get it right and I will stumble but if I can give you the desire to seek who drives me I have done what I was meant to do. For you to see Him even when you are not aware of it, is the greatest gift I can give.
Again I ask you, what do they see when they see you? What lasting impression do you leave? I hope that you simply leave grace.
Spring is beautiful and so is the day set aside to honor our mothers. Traditionally my Mother’s Day starts off attending church services with my family. Our pastor throughout the years has done an amazing job filling our hearts with what it means to honor our mothers. Usually a gift is given in recognition of all the love and nurturing the mothers have given to their families. I don’t know if Sergio notices the hand squeeze I give almost every year when the pastor talks about what an important role we play in our children’s lives. My prayer is that he never takes that slight squeeze of his hand as a way to ask him, “hey are you listening to the pastor? He is talking about how amazing of am mother I am. Listen to how great I am!” I without a doubt know that Sergio believes me to be an amazing mother because he is great with words of affirmation and always has been. Not a week goes by that he dose not tell me what a great job I do in caring for our children. The squeeze of his hand is one of comfort for him. One to acknowledge the fact that mothers day may be painful for him. To let him know that I have not forgotten the void in his heart.
Sergio lost his mother when he was 23. We had just moved into our first home. Boxes were piled in every room when we received the call. Within minutes we were on the highway headed to the city that had brought him so much trauma. Entering the hospital that he almost lost his life not once, but twice opened so many wounds. In this hospital Sergio’s mother life would not be spared. After watching her heart beat its last beat a part of Sergio left this earth with her. He will forever have a void. Sergio struggled for years talking about his mother and their relationship. It was better to pretend the first couple of years, that because we lived almost three hours away, she just had not had the time to visit. I learned to not bring her death up unless he did. As years passed he has gotten better talking openly about her and her sudden death. Writing our book has made it more comfortable for Sergio to talk and gives him the opportunity to reminisce.
This Mother’s Day I will squeeze his hand as always when it is time to honor our mother as a way to let him know that I will not forget his. To let him know that I understand and appreciate the great effort he puts forth to make this a special day for me. I will hold his hand to show him that I will forever support and encourage him to talk openly or quietly to God about his feelings relating to the loss of his mother. I will hold on to his hand for as long as he needs me to.
On Mother’s Day I would like you to embrace your families and make it a mission to enjoy the beautiful creation God has set before you. Hold your mother close and thank her for all she has done and continues to do for you. Look at those precious gifts that have given you the name mother, but not without prayers for the motherless. Pray for the ones that would love to have that opportunity to sit across from their mother and share something as simple as her smile and her voice. Squeeze the hand of the ones that you know long for one more tender hug from their mother. Hold on to their hand if that is needed. Don’t let go until they do. As I tread through
Do you ever have those times in your day when you start to reflect on your past and before you know it you venture down the road of regret?
This week I had to dig deep into my past. Sergio, Ashley, and I spent hours this weekend editing our book. We made it a goal to add more details and feelings to reveal a clear picture of our past. Our book is to help connect our past to who we are today. We wowed to open up our hearts as we continue to work on our mission.
As I sat and reflected my mind began to flow freely from one scene to the next. Some of these scenes showed me peace with a clear understanding. Those memories made a smile form on my face. Others showed pain and despair and shocked my system. These memories moved so many emotions within me. The emotions felt as if I was reliving these events today. Even though these particular parts of my past had been so long ago it was apparent that it could drive me to a place of discomfort.
Tears began to grow inside of me and I had to apologize to Ashley while she was helping me through this process. I had to pause to wipe my tears often.
I could feel my chest start to tighten and the regret overtaking my thoughts. The sharp turn that occurred was powerful. Regret was guiding me, questions engulfed me. Could I have made a different choice that would change the course of some of the trauma I experienced?
Could I have listened better to guidance? More and more questions continued to pass in my mind. I was headed to the land of regrets until that still small voice whispered to me to turn back! Turn back to reflecting. Once I could control my emotions I was able to listen to the voice more clearly. I heard that is was okay to reflect on the parts of my life that I would of prayed to have come out differently, but I did not need to regret my past nor did I need to be ashamed of it. My past is what made me the person that I am today. My past is what drives me to be a better person today. Without my past would I know grace at its fullest?
Whenever you start to reflect on your past steer clear of regret. Remember that you are a warrior of your past. You are an over comer that wears a badge of victory.
2 Timothy 4:7 says I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Go ahead and decorate your homes with fluffy bunnies, yellow chicks and baskets filled with eggs. Set aside your best clothes and prepare your ham to be ready by lunch. Eat the ears off the chocolate bunnies and enjoy the yucky peeps (sorry to my peep loving friends) choose whether to say Happy Easter or Happy Resurrection Sunday.
All I ask is that you will first prepare for this beautiful day by reflecting on why it is the most beautiful. Remember that God made the ultimate sacrifice for you. Yes you! He loved you so much that He was willing to feel pain that is unexplainable on Friday and on Sunday he rose, just as promised. He proved to you that you are worth it all. He paid for you with his blood. You have the opportunity to live with him freely once your time here on earth is over. Close your eyes and imagine eternity with him. Eternity is forever.
His resurrection proved that He is Messiah and that He has the victory over Satan, sin, and death. He has broken the chains that tried to keep you from having a future embraced by Him. Once his lifeless body rose our lives have been made complete. All the ugly sin and darkness over the world has no power over him. Death cannot hold him down. He is in fact Alive!
What are your plans for Resection Sunday? Share with me the special ways that you prepare. Are you a peeps eater?
