The name Sergio is not a very common name, and My Sergio is very unique.
Once you meet him you cannot help but smile. I hope that most people remember him by his bubbly personality and his desire to make others laugh. I know that his wheelchair also makes meeting him unforgettable especially once you have the opportunity to learn what makes those wheels turn.
I believe my name is even less common than my husband’s name. I don’t have the same personality as he does. In fact I am shy and not as friendly. I have very little humor and I do not travel in a wheelchair. I can see how people would forget my name.
I have learned to live with the fact that most people greet me with a question like this.
“Hello you’re Sergio’s wife, right?”
I usually smile and say”Yes, I am, my name is Norah.”
I have patients in the dental office I work at call and ask to speak to Sergio’s wife. I giggle and say “This is she,” once the patient realizes they are speaking to Sergio’s wife they ask me questions about their dental appointments. Usually Sergio’s wife is good enough for them and they do not ask me for my name.
Once an older lady pulled me aside to say she had a confession to make, she was in love with my husband. I let her know that it was ok with me because I was in love with him too. I bet she didn’t know my name nor did she care to learn it.
Yes, I am Sergio’s wife, my name is Norah and this has been a role that I have played for over 20 years. This role includes loving and supporting him. Being his legs when he cannot venture down a path and being his arms when he cannot reach. I am his voice when he cannot speak; I am his safe place when he needs shelter. I am the one person that knows his fears, his dreams, and his hopes.
I can feel when he is uncomfortable in a setting, especially when it is not fitting for a wheelchair. I know the sighs when it is time to leave a place that cannot fit his needs. I can read his body language when his back and his bottom have been in one place too long. When he falls physically, I know not to make a big deal of it. He’ll pick himself up. When he falls spiritually I know not to make a big deal, but to lift him in prayer.
I know when he is off balanced emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Without him telling me I know when someone or a situation hurts him. I know when to help him with a struggles and I when to back off and let him figure it out. When it’s time to push and when it’s time to let him lead. You may not know my name but he knows when he calls out to me I am here.
I am Norah, Sergio’s wife.
I challenge you to be that kind of spouse that you were created to be. The spouse that is okay with having your name forgotten because you know that the mention of your name brings him comfort………….. As I tread through.
Pictures of me in the past can be hard, that’s because I am not the same person as the woman in those pictures. I usually would not allow many to be taken of me and I would rather be behind the camera. I did this on purpose because I did not want to look at myself in front of a mirror much less pay money for a picture of me to be developed.
In 2006 I started the journey of unhealthy weight gain. Little did I know that once I continued on that journey it would be so hard to fight my way back. It took me getting denied insurance to have a wake up call. I was considered obese due to my weight and height. When the notice came in the mail I told no one, not even Sergio. I was ashamed of myself. After months had passed a co-worker asked me to join her with a personal trainer who recently moved into town.
I honestly didn’t think twice. I knew that I had to do something, I could not continue to buy bigger sized clothing. I came home from work, asked Sergio what he thought, and finally admitted to being denied insurance through tears.
Let me share the funny parts of my story.
The trainer and I set up a time for him to test me. Test me in what? I didn’t ask. I showed up to the testing in flip flops. Really Norah what in the heck did you think he was going to test? I had to go back home and dig out my running shoes and dust them off and return as quickly as possible . I was a little embarrassed.
After my testing, which required me to speed walk on the treadmill, I was told of the date I would start my training. I was ready to go, well I thought I was ready go. The first three days I came home crying. Actually I started to cry once I got in my car. The workouts were so hard that I would threaten to throw up. My trainer would simply put the trash can in front of me.
After a year or more of training the runners in our group starting to talk about running a 5K. I wanted no part of that. I was walking on the treadmill at a 3.5 speed. But of course they all convinced me to sign up for the 5K.
The kicker part of the race was that part of it would be up hill. I had to train on the treadmill by running on an incline. Picture me, the girl who has never played a sport, just learned how to work out, still needed to lose weight, running on an incline. Not a pretty sight. My lungs endured a pain they never experience and I had to push myself to continue.
I finished the training, showed up to the start line thinking oh my goodness what have I done? The hill was harder than I thought it would be and I wanted to give up but something made me push and finish. I was so proud of myself when I crossed the finish line. When it all was said and done I even received a metal and made the newspaper, the truth is there was only four women in my age division but I placed in my first race ever.
Here I am six years later some pounds lighter with 2 half-marathons under my belt along with several 5k and 10k’s. Now I allow people to take pictures of me. I have had tears, set backs, injuries, fears, and doubts but one thing is for sure that thought Christ all things are possible.
We all have struggles in life, many of us have struggles with food and exercise. It is very challenging to realize when you need to make a life change. Set some goals, share your goals with someone, know that you will at times slip away from your your plan, learn to get back on track without beating yourself up, and take one change at time. As I tread through.
Today I am a blessed girl who has struggles from time to time trying to find balance. How does one find balance in work, chores, health, quality time with family members, and herself? I have learned so much about myself and faith in the last 10 years of my life. By no means am I saying that my life is now perfect. I can count many blessings but they have come after so many tears. Some of the tears from not relying on God because I thought I could do it all on my own.
Before I learned to have a faith and a personal relationship with God I was off balance. I don’t want you to think that at times I do not still get off balanced but I do want you to believe me when I say that the Only way for me to get back in balance is to simply talk to God. Ask him to revive to me and to help me see what my purpose for the day is. Ask him to take over, take over my heart, my voice, and my time. Ask him to help me put numbers on what is a priority.
I think of all the things I enjoy and all the roles I play for so many, when I am off balance my heart suffers. When I am not relying on the most important relationship everything seems so overwhelming. I don’t conquer my to do list with a clear mind, I don’t communicate well. I start to doubt my ability to parent and doubt weather I can be a godly wife. I enjoy running and the effects of keeping physically active, it keeps my body firm and it gives me energy. However, when I an not balanced I have a hard time lacing up my running shoes. I struggle to make it to the gym.
Without balance I cannot shut my brain off to enjoy any if the hobbies that I love. The joy is gone. When I am not focused on my divine relationship my other relationships struggle. They struggle because I fail to communicate through my heart and I lose my patience quickly. So when I find that I am not moving towards my goals weather they be at work, home,with family or in the gym I have learned how vital it is to just be still talk to my heavenly father asking him to lead me to to place of balance.
What are some ways that you try to remain balanced?
“Adoption is a special kind of love that is shared not by people who are related by blood, but people who are related by love.”
All around the world tonight there are children who do not have a place to call home. Children that for one reason or another do not have a mother or a father who can care for them. Some of these children do not have family members who are suitable to raise them. It is a sad reality. Right now as I am typing pictures are being added to the list of children waiting for their forever family. Sometimes the wait is not long and other times the wait can drag on for years. Some children become of age and never have the opportunity to sit across a dinner table from people they can call family. There will always be that hole in their hearts. A hole that only a family can fill.
I don’t know all there is to know about adoption but I do know that you can give a child a foundation to build on when making the choice to open your hearts. The passion that I show my children will come through as a mama bear fighting for her baby cubs. I will protect my cubs. When times get tough I will always seek the help that they need, I will show them love and I will offer a listening ear when they need to talk. I will answer any and all of their questions to the best of my ability. I will never make them feel that their past is a big black secret that no one can talk about. I will encourage them to talk about their bio parents if that is needed for healing. My children know that if the need to search for the people who created them weighs heavy on their hearts, I will help them. My prayer is that each one of my children will include me in that process. They know that I thank God for them and that my life has been forever changed because of them. I have learned so much about compassion, patience, understating and grace being their mother. I will forever have their backs and I will seek Gods wisdom when making decisions for them that may impact their lives. What I do know about adoption is that it changes you from the inside out.
I did not get this whole football thing. Really why would I want to waste my time watching a bunch of men run, jump, kick, hit, and fight after an odd shaped ball? I had several perfectly good books that I would rather read. Sergio had given up on me being his football buddy. I am certain it was due to his frustration in having to explain over and over again the difference between a first down and a touch down. He didn’t want to explain why a penalty was given and why a play was challenged. I was not a very fast learner. For several games I would “try” to get in the zone but I would lose interest within minutes and would grab a book or do a house chores instead. I did learn very quickly that it does not make your your husband happy when you vacuum the room he is watching his beloved Broncos in. Dusting the TV does not make him happy either. The only way to recover the fumble is with chips and salsa. I have also learned not to start any conversations with my football fanatic unless I want the “look” because the conversation will be one sided. I have learned the art of asking a very quick question when a commercial is on and I mean quick because if the answer takes too much time and the game has commenced I get no answer until the next commercial. Well maybe!
Times have changed and I cannot believe that he has turned me into this crazy Broncos fan that truly bleeds Orange and Blue. I have even had a fantasy football team but for some odd reason when the Puerto Rican Players beat Rolling Thunder I didn’t get invited into the league again. With all the trash talking going on I should of known I was out when someone (will not mention any names but he goes by rolling thunder) had to eat his own words. I cried last year when my favorite team came out on the field for the Super Bowl. No not when they lost. Yes I was disappointed but I was proud that they had made it that far. I talk to them through the TV as if they can here me. Just trying to help them out. Oh no I am turning in to that crazy football person? What is happening to me?
The truth is football is Sergio’s only hobby and it can take up time. Time happens to be my love language and I did not want to be the kind of wife that nagged because the attention is not on her. I made the decision to learn about football so that I could enjoy the time with Sergio. Now my love has shifted to loving the men in orange and blue. It is Sergio’s fault for putting these men in my life. As time passed I learned the plays and I learned to be the best football buddy a guy could ever ask for. One year for our anniversary I surprised Sergio with tickets to a game. This was my first live football game. I teared up when my guys came on the field. I cheered so loud that I lost my voice. That year we beat the Patriots and I left the stadium with pride. The time I spent with my husband was priceless. Watching him enjoy himself in this environment left my heart filled. He thanked me over and over for this anniversary gift. He explained to me how much it meant to him that I came into his world. I think he was on a mile high!
Game days are special days. The snacks are planned in advance, chores are done in advance. A mass text to the family to invite them to come over and watch the game. Sunday football is the best because I put on my one of many team shirts to get ready for church. I get ready to worship God and I smile at my church family in the Broncos gear. Once services are over it is time to celebrate in Broncos country with the best fan ever……… my husband.
We continue to be Denver Broncos fans no matter what the outcome of the games are!
