Have you ever experienced or gone through a moment in your life that you knew at that exact second everything that you considered normal was about to change?
This happened to me the day that I met my daughter, Ashley.
The day before we met we were nothing but strangers to each other. She had never seen my face or heard my voice until that day. The reason our paths were crossing was there was a special person in our lives, it happened to be Ashley’s mother and my girlfriend at the time. I was working hard at trying to develop a relationship with Ashley’s mother. This was a critical moment in my life, not only was I trying to create a relationship with someone but I was also trying to make of the mess I had made in my life.
I knew when I started to date Norah that she had a daughter, it wasn’t normal for me to stick around or date a girl that had kid. These kinds of situations always seemed to be too much of a hassle, too much of a problem, and too much to have to work at. Plus we were teenagers, what did we know about becoming a family? But this time things were different, there was something about Norah that kept me coming back. One of the reasons was the sound of her voice when she spoke of Ashley. It sounded like music to my ears. There was a strength, a power, behind each word. They were projected out with a force that could knock a person over. This made it easier to keep an open mind to the possibility of Ashley. I was starving from the lack attention, lack of affection, lack of love and tired of feeling not wanted. Every spoken word about Ashley felt like she was putting a shield of protection around her and a blanket to keep her warm. I wanted someone to speak about me in this way. I needed to meet Ashley. This was strictly prohibited by Norah.
I had this problem about following the rules and doing what I wanted. I made the decision to meet Ashley, this is was the moment that life got real for me. Inside my head I started questioning my thoughts and filling my head with doubt. The kid won’t like you was echoed in my mind over and over. What are you doing, how are you going to help take care of a kid, you couldn’t take care of yourself, what if you let them down you’ll be left alone. I felt shocked, panicked, overwhelmed, I was scared, and not ready for what I was about to do. This would mean big change for me and would require major adjustment on my part. Guilt and anxiety overcame me, but all I wanted to do was knock on the door and met this one year old person named, Ashley. I did it! I walked up to the front door, knocked, and met Ashley. I can’t remember a time I was more scared in my life. But it was worth it, The initial look I got from Norah when she opened the door was surprise, but there was this twinkle in her eye that said what took you so long. And Ashley’s eyes said do you play Barbies?
In an instant everything changed for Norah and I. We did start a relationship that was more than just being friends and buddies. It was the starting point of us becoming a family. All the fears that I had when it came to meeting Ashley were true fears for me. The anxiety I felt when I thought what Ashley would think about me were all false. She never reacted the way I thought she would, not even close. She always welcomed me with arms wide open. All she wanted was attention and somebody to play with, she could care less about all other stuff that we call life. She kept it simple for me which made it easier for me to do the right thing.
Yes, the moment that I met her everything did change, in a way that I can only describe as magical because her smile and her hugs had the ability to take away all of the fears that were trying to keep me away from becoming part of the family. In her eyes I’ve never did anything wrong and I was her hero. The simplicity of her needs, packed a power that kicked down my wall of protection I had built around me. I felt good about myself and I felt good about how she saw me. She ignited my inner spirit with a desire to achieve more and to become a better person.
From the moment that I knocked on her door I was invited into the world of possibilities. A world of what if, by a one year old princess. Today 25 years after she still keeps opening doors of possibilities. She is the author, the boss, and the creator of The Wheels Of Grace. Her mission at this point of life is to guide me and her mother with sharing our life stories of overcoming challenges and survival in the world. The difference now when I knock on the door is she doesn’t ask if I want to play, she asks if I completed my work that she assigned to me.
There are moments in our lives that we can’t miss, some are fast and short but if caught and realized, they could be the key to the door of a world of possibilities.
Today I encourage you to knock on the door of possibility and Keep Rolling On!
I wanted to share something that I love about christmas, but before I do I need to set the scene of where my mind was before all the lights went up and all the christmas trees where pull out from their 12 month hibernation.
Right after Thanksgiving I started to feel sour on the thought of Christmas being less than 30 days away. I couldn’t put my finger on why I was feeling this way. If it would have been up to me, I would have been ok with skipping Christmas all together. I wasn’t sour on the idea of celebration the birth of Jesus, it was the total opposite of this. I was 100% ready to go the school and watch the kid’s Christmas plays and be blown away by the awesome job they do. I was in a crisis, because I didn’t want to be the scrooge of Christmas. Imagine me going around saying “Bah Humbug.” I would have a mutiny at my house and I would probably spend the next 30 days sleeping outside in the dog house.
Then it hit me!
What triggered this crisis in me was all the hype surrounded around shopping and spending money. It seemed that everywhere I turned I was bombarded with the idea that I needed to buy stuff. Slowly over the years my Christmas spirit has be taking a hit from witnessing the effect of people getting so caught up in the spirit of buying and spending and totally missing the hurting and lost that are in front of us every day. Maybe why I was hit so hard with this, this year was because I overheard someone talking on the phone telling the other person that they didn’t know how they were going to do Christmas this year because they didn’t have any money. Or maybe it had to do with knowing that there are people around me every day just trying to make it through a normal month without the pressure of trying to find a way to scrape up a little extra in December so the tree has something underneath it on Christmas day. Wow how did we get here? This time of the year was never meant to become stress to our body and mind. Nor was it meant to become a strain on our wallets.
Now let me tell you that something that I love about Christmas. After I’ve painted this scene of doom and gloom.All it took for me to clear my head of all the muck, was to see my family’s emblems of love to me. It happened the day my wife said today I would like to bring up our Christmas stuff and start decorating the house. I have to admit that I wasn’t very enthusiastic with the request but I obeyed because I know it would mean alot to my wife and the kids.
We started the ritual of bringing out the decorations. I was a little impressed with how fast we were able to decorate the inside of the house. We knocked it out in less than half a day, everything except for the tree. By this time I was done and didn’t want to help with anymore decorating, so I pulled out my computer and started to work on stuff for work. It didn’t take long before my wife forced me to get involved with the activities so I put away the laptop and started to help fluff the tree.
We spent A few more hours decorating the tree and we were done! Wow I was tired, decorating is hard work!
As I started to unwind and relax this was when my eyes caught sight of all the precious gifts that I had been given and collected over the past 21 years. I was overwhelmed with the sight of the gifts I had decorating my house. A smile grow on my face from ear to ear as I looked around my house and I saw all of the craft projects my kids made over the years. I was overcome with an avalanche of emotions of love and honor.
So what I love about Christmas now is unboxing the gifts that my kids have given me over the years, these images of their hands making a Christmas tree out of craft paper and paint has become a symbol of how much they love me. In that moment my spirit was rejuvenated and the muck and sourness that I had tasted for the past month was taken away.
Life is hard and comes with many challenges but instead worrying about all the things that we ca not do or don’t have. Lets try to spend less time in the store and more time giving the emblems of love to someone in need this Christmas. Remember very litttle money is needed to give a card, send a letter or make a call. But the power that act has will always outweigh the power of a gift that can be purchased.
This Christmas let the power of our love shine!
Please share an experience of how love was given to you or someone this Christmas.
Remember To Keep Rolling On This Holiday Season! Merry Christmas to all!
The time has come, Thanksgiving is near. My family can’t wait for the moment when the spread is laid on the table and were told to come and eat. We’ve already created our list of wants for this day.
On this day there will be enough for us to have seconds, thirds, fourths or fifths if one chooses.
On this day, food will fill all of our counters with turkey, ham, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, rice, beans, yams, cranberry sauce, rolls and salad. We can forget the best part “dessert”. Homemade Pumpkin pies, pecan pie, cookies, and all the whip cream that one can handle.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year. The day starts off with the morning air being heated from the warmth of the oven. It doesn’t take long for the smell of the roasting turkey to fill the house. The only thing that could even come close to smelling better is when the pies are put into the oven to bake. We have to have pumpkin pie and pecan pie, it’s on the list! I bet this is what heaven smells like. Yum I can’t wait.
It’s hard to imagine that there could be anyone out there that would not agree with me but there is. This time of the year can be a difficult time for anyone that has to organize the events of the day. There’s a lot of moving parts to the celebration. To pull this off one needs to be very organized and needs to have the ability to multi task. You can’t forget anything, so a list needs to be created.
It could sound something like this, clean the refrigerator, clean the oven, clean the house, make sure the dog gets to the groomer, find out how many people will be coming, find a roaster for the turkey, make a list of the supplies for Thanksgiving, and go grocery shopping. You could get the sense that to the person doing the organizing, doesn’t get the warm fuzzy feeling that this day is going to be much fun.
For many of us this is how the day unfolds, we get so locked up into the food side of it all, that we forget why this is all happening in the first place . We get so lost in the make sure everything is ready and that nothing has been forgotten that we miss the true meaning of the day.
The meaning of Thanksgiving is the expression of gratitude for our families and friends, gratitude for good health, and safety, and gratitude especially to God.
“Remember this Thanksgiving that life is full of give and take, Remember to give thanks and take nothing for granted”.
Take the time this Thanksgiving day to show the gratitude you have with each other. We are blessed with so much abundance. We have been given so much, so lets share it with others. Invite a friend or friends to your home, support a worthy cause, make it a point to help someone in a positive way. You get the point, share and spread the abundance that the Lord has given us. Let’s do more then just eat and check things off our to-do list this Thanksgiving. Please share the ways that you showed gratitude, with us. “Happy Thanksgiving”
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” Psalm 136:1
Where does the desire to adopt child come from? Is it because one wants to start a family or grow one? Is it because one can’t have children and this is the only way that it could happen? Or is it one feels that they can make a difference in a child’s world that is in need?
I was faced with having to answer this question. At the the age of 18 I thought that I had all the time in the world and that there was no rush. Little did I know that the path to a family was not going to come to me in the convention way. There would be nothing conventional about my path that I would be forced to take. At the age of 18 I was shot and my ability to walk was taken away from me, forever. At this crossroad in my life I struggled with the idea that I would never walk again. Anger, regret, and the nagging question in my head of why I survived to live in a wheelchair, beat at my mind like a boxer hitting a punching bag. Guilt found a way of working itself into my mind clouding my head with the thoughts that this was happening to me because of my past. I had reached a point in my life that I could not handle the situation I was in and I had to let it go. The darkness had won. I lost the will to fight.
Matthew 11:28-29
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
The Lord revealed himself to me in my darkest moment and showed me that he had path for me to follow. The first thing that he did was to open my eyes to the person who had stood by my side through all of the darkness and hard times. My best friend my angel, Norah. Then he took away all of the anger, regret, and guilt and placed love, peace, and forgiveness in its place. The night that I was shoot, I not only lost the ability to walk, I lost the ability to have children. I was saddened by this because this was truly something that I knew I would want someday. But this was not the way the Lord wanted me to experience it. The path he had for me was adoption.
I was filled with the desire to open up my family and home to whatever the Lord sent my way. His plan for me was to share my life with 3 kiddos that were in search of a family. I now know that having kids doesn’t make a father, raising them does. There’s nothing in this world that comes close to the joy of me becoming a father and the happiness that has was given me. I can make a case that the worst night of my life was the beginning of the best thing that ever happened to me. My eyes were opened to the beauty that surrounded me and I was given a family and the responsibility of a father. It’s easy to think that my kids got the better of the deal but in reality I hit the jackpot.
I encourage anyone that is considering adoption to first make sure that the desire you feel is coming from the right place. This isn’t an easy path but it can be very rewarding and fulfilling one.
All I can say is that I am a better man because of my kiddos! My mission in life is to show the world what the lord has done in my life and how he has blessed me.
God alway makes a way, all we need to do is hold his hand and let him lead us.
Remember to Keep Rolling On
Don’t forget to join us for Orphan Sunday November, 8th or find a way to help a fatherless child.
The passed few weeks at the Sanchez house has been filled with the noise of mom telling our kids to clean out their closets because school is around the corner and the junk needs to be cleaned out.
They’re instructed to take out all the clothes that no longer fit, to be placed it in a plastic bag that’s located in our dining room. I have to laugh every morning, as I have my coffee, when I see the big 55 gallon trash bag grow with junk from their rooms.
They’re told anything that doesn’t belong in their closets needs to go. To Jason, my 16 year old, it means getting rid of all the empty shoe boxes. He is told to get rid of anything that would stop his hamper from fitting inside his closet. Norah always has to throw in these words when she talking to Jason, she reminds him to stop being a hoarder.
To Gese, my 7 year old, it means all the subway lunch bag collection needs to disappear, all of last year’s school paperwork needs to go away, and no clean clothes better been on the floor. Also make sure that nothing finds it way under your bed or there will be a lot of explaining to do! Again, these are words Norah just has to say.
This has become a ritual at the Sanchez house at the beginning of every August as we prepare for the upcoming school year. My title of dad changes to chauffeur and ATM machine.
When it is time to go back-to school shopping, I spend my time driving everyone around, and I spend too much time looking for cleats, socks, underwear and school supplies. This wouldn’t be so bad if we could choose one or two store to buy everything we need, but this is not an option for the Sanchez’s, we have to visit every store within a 200 mile radius. This year was different because we added car shopping to the list for our 16 year old son. Not only did I have Norah guiding me to the next shopping center, I now had my son pointing out every car dealership we passed by.
I have to say that this years back to school travels where exhausting!
My shoulders were sore from all of the wheeling around in my wheelchair, and my head hurt because of so much time spent with car dealers.
But I have to admit that I wouldn’t change any of it because after all the dust has settled, I get a front row seat to the Gese Sanchez fashion show. I get to see her eyes fill with excitement and joy because of the upcoming school year. So much that we need to remind her that she can’t wear her school clothes to bed.
For my son I can see that he can’t wait to be able to drive himself to school. All of this traveling and money spending takes a toll on me and Norah, but we are more than happy to do this for our kids. Because all we ever wanted when we started a family was the ability to do for kids in ways that we weren’t able to when we were younger. We want them to remember, and God willing when they start a family they will do the same.
My first few years of being in a wheelchair I had doubts that I would ever have the ability to have a normal life and family. I don’t think this way anymore because I had my eyes open by the Lord and he showed me that I could have anything I wanted I just needed to believe. At the beginning of every August I will be reminded of my blessing by scheduled trips to the mall and in Gese’s case one more trip to a car dealership in about ten years.
To all the dads out there I want to shout out to you to remember that time is short with our kids so enjoy the torture of the malls and stores. Try to spend the remaining time you have with them to get their eyes to sparkle with the excitement of life. Dont miss out on the fashion show where you’re the guest of honor.
Rejoice in the gift or gifts that the Lord has given you.
