Do you ever have those times in your day when you start to reflect on your past and before you know it you venture down the road of regret?
This week I had to dig deep into my past. Sergio, Ashley, and I spent hours this weekend editing our book. We made it a goal to add more details and feelings to reveal a clear picture of our past. Our book is to help connect our past to who we are today. We wowed to open up our hearts as we continue to work on our mission.
As I sat and reflected my mind began to flow freely from one scene to the next. Some of these scenes showed me peace with a clear understanding. Those memories made a smile form on my face. Others showed pain and despair and shocked my system. These memories moved so many emotions within me. The emotions felt as if I was reliving these events today. Even though these particular parts of my past had been so long ago it was apparent that it could drive me to a place of discomfort.
Tears began to grow inside of me and I had to apologize to Ashley while she was helping me through this process. I had to pause to wipe my tears often.
I could feel my chest start to tighten and the regret overtaking my thoughts. The sharp turn that occurred was powerful. Regret was guiding me, questions engulfed me. Could I have made a different choice that would change the course of some of the trauma I experienced?
Could I have listened better to guidance? More and more questions continued to pass in my mind. I was headed to the land of regrets until that still small voice whispered to me to turn back! Turn back to reflecting. Once I could control my emotions I was able to listen to the voice more clearly. I heard that is was okay to reflect on the parts of my life that I would of prayed to have come out differently, but I did not need to regret my past nor did I need to be ashamed of it. My past is what made me the person that I am today. My past is what drives me to be a better person today. Without my past would I know grace at its fullest?
Whenever you start to reflect on your past steer clear of regret. Remember that you are a warrior of your past. You are an over comer that wears a badge of victory.
2 Timothy 4:7 says I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Do you ever get the feeling that life is moving at a high rate of speed and that there is no way to stop or slow down the speed?
There’s no time to catch your breath or refuel your tank, no time to smell the flowers, and no time to enjoy the sun rise or set. There’s only time to get to the place you need to be. We can easily let life turn into a highway that doesn’t have any exit ramps. We can get so caught up going in one direction at a high speed that all we do is follow the car in front of us without taking the time to refuel, rest, or just enjoy the drive. We tell ourselves that we need to travel on the highway so we can get to our destination fast.
Once you arrive at the destination does it feel like you missed out on everything around you because you were so focused on getting there? You forgot to enjoy the journey.
I find myself with these thoughts and I start to think of my age and question what I have achieved with my time in this world. I don’t focus on my accomplishments, I go straight to the things I haven’t done. This thinking usually leads me to try to achieve more on my to-do list and automatically puts me back on the highway, going one direction and fast.
Life doesn’t need to be this way. Why should we miss all of the scenery that life has to offer? We need to stop and ask ourselves this question. If we don’t who will? When we travel fast most of the time we do it alone. We can’t slow down and enjoy looking out the window, we can’t create more off ramps or travel at a slower speed. We are going to fast to pull into a rest area to rest and refuel. If we did do these things we would have less of a chance of feeling empty and that we’ve missed out on something when we reached our destination. Instead we tend to question if the trip was worth it.
Remember that direction is more important than speed. Let’s stop going nowhere fast.
This is a work in progress in my life, I have started off slow with simple things like talking with my wife over coffee before the kids get up and having breakfast with the kids when they do wake up. This has helped me stay connected with my family. When I get to work I try to acknowledge all of my co-workers with a good morning and a smile. I try to vibe an upbeat spirit during the day, even when the day becomes challenging. When I get home from work I try to find ways to help out, like picking up the kids and doing the dishes, and starting dinner. I have noticed that this has helped my wife slow down a little and relax. I have created an off ramp for her to refuel, relax, and enjoy the scenery.
I now see that this is the scenery of my life. I don’t want to miss this because I’m going too fast. The more I do this the easier it is to look back at my life’s achievements and not get that empty feeling that I missed out on life. I know that I will still need to travel on the highway at times but now I look for the off ramps more and take them any chance I can so I don’t miss out on life.
Remember to look for the off ramps and to not get caught in life’s traffic jam. I would love to hear what off ramps you take in life to help you slow down so please share.
Here are 40 things about the wonderful woman I get to call mom.
40. She is 14 years older than I am and I can feel it the older I get.
39. When she’s 40 I’m 26.
38. When she turns 50 I’ll be 36. I can’t help but think we’ll both be in our prime at those ages and have so much fun together.
37. She is my best friend, my rock.
36. I know she thinks that I give her strength, but really it is the other way around.
35. She is the strongest person I know and without her guidance I’m not sure I would be the strong woman I am today.
34. She pushes me to be the best I can be, but she doesn’t push me with her words she pushes me with her actions.
33. She has never told me what to do, even when I ask her to. Sometimes I wish she would make my decisions for me but she never does, even when it is as simple as which book I should purchase.
32. She has led me to be the free spirit that I am.
31. We have a special relationship that I absolutely love.
30. She is my biggest supporter.
29. She listens to me complain about dumb things.
28. She knows that I am one of the most annoying people in her life and yet she still loves me.
27. I know she wonders why I have to be particular about every single detail in every single thing, but still she accommodates those details, or at least listens to my reasoning as to why things have to be a certain way.
26. She cleans better than any one I know.
25. She claims that she doesn’t love to clean, but secretly it is hands down her favorite thing to do.
24. She watches stupid tv with me even though I know she hates it at the same time that she likes it because it makes her laugh.
23. I don’t know how she has time for all of the things that she does.
22. I can call her when I’m sad and she’ll listen to me cry.
21. She still spoils me when she can and takes special dinner requests from me.
20. Sometime she only texts me in emojis, and I enjoy trying to figure out what she means, but I know her so well that it isn’t difficult.
19. When she misses me she calls me more times than I want to talk to her.
18. I talk about her way to much. So much to the point that people automatically say “what does your mom think about that?” because they know I tell her everything.
17. She cannot keep a secret. Everything I tell she tells my dad even when I ask her not to.
16. I am positive her best friend knows every little detail of my life because my mom is the worst at secret keeping.
15. If you upset her or make her mad she will tell you exactly how you made her feel (there is a chance I am that way too.)
14. More than anything I hate to see her cry and never know how to comfort her.
13. I cannot imagine the weight she carries everyday by being a mother to kids who very in ages from 7 to 25.
12. Sometimes I give her hugs to remind myself that in my mommy’s arms I am safe no matter how old I get.
11. Other times I wish she would leave me alone and stop hugging me, I’m an adult!
10. I am way too much like her and it scares me every single day.
9. It scares me even more when I hear my siblings act just like her. She has phrases that tend to rub off on others.
8. When she sees me she usually says “Fancy meeting you here” in the most ironic situation possible.
7. She makes the best rice and beans in all of the land.
6. She has beautiful traits that she did not give to me, her beautiful skin tone and curly curly hair.
5. I made her listen to Spice Girls when I was growing up and she still knows all the lyrics.
4. She also knows all the lyrics to Madonna songs from when she was growing up.
3. And all the Michael Jackson lyrics.
2. She is extremely loving, compassionate, and kind.
1. I can always see God working through her at all times.
I never thought about being a writer, it wasn’t a dream of mine until I realized it was a secret dream that I had yet to discover.
The summer after I graduated college I remained in my college town living in an apartment with my roommate. Most of my friends had post graduation plans while I had no plans except to do what I did every summer; read as many books as possible. That summer was different because I felt inspired to write. Not for anyone but myself. I read a lot of comedic books and wondered if I should venture into comedy. I dreamed of having a blog and hoped that someone would be interested in reading my words.
Months later I decided to return to my hometown. I still had no life plans but the passion of writing remained. I dropped the comedy act and constantly thought of a book I read in college, Life Entrepreneurs by Christopher Gergen and Gregg Vanourek. The authors wrote about people who took initiative to become leaders and change their lives and their careers making them entrepreneurs of life. The book inspired me to become a life entrepreneur and encouraged me to want to write about the live’s of others and how they discovered their passions.
I knew I needed to practice my interview skills.
I turned to the first people I always turn to when I have an idea, my parents. I asked if I could interview them. This was a little bit of a touchy subject because originally my mom wanted to write the book on her story and her life.
The first thing out of her mouth was
“You can’t have our story I’m writing a book about it, not you.”
I told her I knew she wanted to write a book and she didn’t need to worry because I had no intentions of stealing her story. I only wanted to practice my interview skills so I could write a book about strangers I had yet to meet.
After that initial day of interviewing I did not continue with that plan.
I still wrote in my spare time, but nothing that I shared with anyone else.
The following summer I went out of town and while I was away my parents spoke their story together. I had no idea it was something they were doing and they didn’t even invite me.
Once I returned they presented me with their ideas. They loved sharing their story and decided it was something they wanted to do. They wanted a life change that would allow them to inspire people. It sounded to me like they wanted to be life entrepreneurs. Knowing they couldn’t write their book alone they asked me to help them. The following week I began to interview them about their lives.
I knew there was a writer somewhere deep inside of me, I just needed her to come out. That was the summer of 2012. Since then I have built this website and I am a better writer. It is a blessing how life works and how God works because the three of us are pursing our dreams, but together.
One day I will write that book where I interview strangers about their passions in life.
For now I will continue to help my parents to pursue their dreams while achieving my own of becoming an author.
I want to encourage any one reading this to pursue their passions, and not to be afraid to ask for help from people who have the tools to help you achieve those goals. I never asked if I could write the book for my mom because I thought it was something she wanted to do. Now it is even more of a blessing because the three of us get to do it together.
How was I going to become a writer, if I didn’t have a story to write?
How were they going to have a book written if they couldn’t write it themselves?
My next encouragement for you is to help me help them purse these passions. Share their story and our website with people you know. Help them make the connections they need to accomplish their goals.
Pictures of me in the past can be hard, that’s because I am not the same person as the woman in those pictures. I usually would not allow many to be taken of me and I would rather be behind the camera. I did this on purpose because I did not want to look at myself in front of a mirror much less pay money for a picture of me to be developed.
In 2006 I started the journey of unhealthy weight gain. Little did I know that once I continued on that journey it would be so hard to fight my way back. It took me getting denied insurance to have a wake up call. I was considered obese due to my weight and height. When the notice came in the mail I told no one, not even Sergio. I was ashamed of myself. After months had passed a co-worker asked me to join her with a personal trainer who recently moved into town.
I honestly didn’t think twice. I knew that I had to do something, I could not continue to buy bigger sized clothing. I came home from work, asked Sergio what he thought, and finally admitted to being denied insurance through tears.
Let me share the funny parts of my story.
The trainer and I set up a time for him to test me. Test me in what? I didn’t ask. I showed up to the testing in flip flops. Really Norah what in the heck did you think he was going to test? I had to go back home and dig out my running shoes and dust them off and return as quickly as possible . I was a little embarrassed.
After my testing, which required me to speed walk on the treadmill, I was told of the date I would start my training. I was ready to go, well I thought I was ready go. The first three days I came home crying. Actually I started to cry once I got in my car. The workouts were so hard that I would threaten to throw up. My trainer would simply put the trash can in front of me.
After a year or more of training the runners in our group starting to talk about running a 5K. I wanted no part of that. I was walking on the treadmill at a 3.5 speed. But of course they all convinced me to sign up for the 5K.
The kicker part of the race was that part of it would be up hill. I had to train on the treadmill by running on an incline. Picture me, the girl who has never played a sport, just learned how to work out, still needed to lose weight, running on an incline. Not a pretty sight. My lungs endured a pain they never experience and I had to push myself to continue.
I finished the training, showed up to the start line thinking oh my goodness what have I done? The hill was harder than I thought it would be and I wanted to give up but something made me push and finish. I was so proud of myself when I crossed the finish line. When it all was said and done I even received a metal and made the newspaper, the truth is there was only four women in my age division but I placed in my first race ever.
Here I am six years later some pounds lighter with 2 half-marathons under my belt along with several 5k and 10k’s. Now I allow people to take pictures of me. I have had tears, set backs, injuries, fears, and doubts but one thing is for sure that thought Christ all things are possible.
We all have struggles in life, many of us have struggles with food and exercise. It is very challenging to realize when you need to make a life change. Set some goals, share your goals with someone, know that you will at times slip away from your your plan, learn to get back on track without beating yourself up, and take one change at time. As I tread through.
Today I am a blessed girl who has struggles from time to time trying to find balance. How does one find balance in work, chores, health, quality time with family members, and herself? I have learned so much about myself and faith in the last 10 years of my life. By no means am I saying that my life is now perfect. I can count many blessings but they have come after so many tears. Some of the tears from not relying on God because I thought I could do it all on my own.
Before I learned to have a faith and a personal relationship with God I was off balance. I don’t want you to think that at times I do not still get off balanced but I do want you to believe me when I say that the Only way for me to get back in balance is to simply talk to God. Ask him to revive to me and to help me see what my purpose for the day is. Ask him to take over, take over my heart, my voice, and my time. Ask him to help me put numbers on what is a priority.
I think of all the things I enjoy and all the roles I play for so many, when I am off balance my heart suffers. When I am not relying on the most important relationship everything seems so overwhelming. I don’t conquer my to do list with a clear mind, I don’t communicate well. I start to doubt my ability to parent and doubt weather I can be a godly wife. I enjoy running and the effects of keeping physically active, it keeps my body firm and it gives me energy. However, when I an not balanced I have a hard time lacing up my running shoes. I struggle to make it to the gym.
Without balance I cannot shut my brain off to enjoy any if the hobbies that I love. The joy is gone. When I am not focused on my divine relationship my other relationships struggle. They struggle because I fail to communicate through my heart and I lose my patience quickly. So when I find that I am not moving towards my goals weather they be at work, home,with family or in the gym I have learned how vital it is to just be still talk to my heavenly father asking him to lead me to to place of balance.
What are some ways that you try to remain balanced?
