This old house has brought me many years of joy. Some tears as well. Like in all things a work in progress. I’ve surrendered to the realization that it may always be. I too am a work in progress. When we set out on the mission to buy our home I knew that it would come with remodel projects, in fact before we could move in the sink in the only bathroom the home had needed to be relocated. It blocked the path to the bathtub for a person in a wheelchair. This first project lead to the next to the next and to even this weekend we will engage in some kind of DIY project.
Over the years I have learned to embrace the opportunity to work side by side with Sergio. I know the name of most tools and I have no fear in using them.
This wasn’t always the case. There were many times when I felt I wasn’t strong enough to do a task. Especially when he could not reach and he refuse to let me call for help. I often would end up in tears. I’d find myself right smack in the middle of a task feeling too weak to continue filled with hopelessness. I would see the look that read “Oh how I wish I could take that tool and compete this for you Norah” written on Sergio’s face. Sometimes I would take a much needed bathroom break so that he couldn’t see my tears. In the bathroom I’d gather myself, wipe the tears, and set to conquer without him noticing. Well, I guess when he reads this he will know why I had so many brakes.
Sergio and I call this our marriage therapy. We believe we needed this home and all of its repairs and upgrades to make our relationship strong. Over the years and tears Sergio and I have learned to be a team. In this partnership I know that when he comes towards me with a measuring tape claiming that a project should only take a half a day to be prepared for a whole week with little sleep. Sergio knows that when I have a vision he’d better be in the car ready to head to the hardware store.
In all of the projects we have growth as a couple. We used this time to focus on joy and to work out pain. When life got tough and we needed to focus on something positive we got engrossed in DIY. When I miscarried our twins Sergio and I set to complete a project that helped us through a painful time. We stayed side by side for days working to remodel our bedroom. We started this project to expand our bedroom to make room for a crib. We had to look beyond our pain to complete it knowing that a crib would not occupy that space. The day would lead through the night and would continue to work with one another in this painful time. Assuring one another that our future looked as bright as the walls we were painting together. With every stroke of the brush we worked to heal.
As the years continue to pass we continue our therapy sessions. Some have branched off to individual projects. At times we need to create on our own leaving the other of us the opportunity to drag. Watching Sergio finish a project gives him the greatest satisfaction. Especially if it’s one that I had requested. The look on his face is priceless. I watch him as he stares with great pride. Using his mind and hands leads him to beautiful creations. I benefit from our always transforming home and in our always transforming relationship.
What are activities you put your mind and soul into? Where do you go to fight through heartache? As you look at your creations how can you reflect?
Now I shall go gather up the tools to Keep Rolling On.
Norah
A wife to a man in wheels. Sharing my life with all of the struggles in hopes to open up the highways of understanding, compassion, love, and hope.Follow me as I tread through.