It is obvious that Norah and Sergio are great people, and I’m lucky enough to be their daughter.
Growing up I never realized I was a free spirit until I heard people described me that way. It was not a trait I knew I possessed.
I know my parents didn’t set out to raise me to be a free-spirited person, but they raised me to be my own person and to make my own decisions, which is the same thing as being free-spririted only they didn’t know that’s what they were doing.
In junior high school we learned about politics. Democrats and Republicans. My peers knew exactly which political party they were affiliated with and exactly where all of their values stood, at the age of 13.
I struggled because I had no idea what my political party was.
My classmates would speak up and say “Well my dad believes……”
I had nothing, I had no idea what my dad believed in. I had no idea if he was a Democrat or Republican.I was perplexed all day long, I needed to figure out exactly what I was. I went home that day, sat down for dinner with my parents and expressed my concern.
“Mom, Dad I’m curious am I a Democrat or a Republican?”
“Well, Ashley, that is for you to decide.”
“What you you mean, I need to decide? All the other kids know what they are.”
“That’s because the other kids are probably what their parents told them to be.”
“Well can’t I be what you are?”
“No you have to make that decision for yourself, we can’t tell you what to believe in.”
That day I had more respect for my parents than they would ever know. I always look back to that moment and I know that I was not like everyone else. There are so many stories of people who are pushed to be what their parents want them to be. Kids go to schools they don’t want to be because it is where their parents attended. People pick professions based on what their parents want. I hear these stories and I thank my parents for letting my chose my own life path.
As well as teaching me that I am always free to make my own choices my parents have taught me that I can do anything in life that I want to do. I can say that I have a balanced life of a stable job and a stable place to live, but I often have my head in the clouds thinking of the things I still have to accomplish. I love that about them. I love that they have taught me to be my own person and that they have taught me to dream big.
What are we doing in this life if we aren’t dreaming big? I spend all of my days knowing that I have a purpose in life, I don’t have to be like my peers. I don’t have to believe in something just because someone told me to.
I encourage everyone to make their own life choices despite what someone else tells them they need to do. Deep down we all know what we want, and no one can stop us but ourselves. I’ve always known I can accomplish all that I want because my whole life I’ve been shown that.
God gave us the gift of free will, at times we use it to make mistakes, but in the best of times we use our free will to create something beautiful.
That is all we can strive to do, is make something beautiful.
I never thought about being a writer, it wasn’t a dream of mine until I realized it was a secret dream that I had yet to discover.
The summer after I graduated college I remained in my college town living in an apartment with my roommate. Most of my friends had post graduation plans while I had no plans except to do what I did every summer; read as many books as possible. That summer was different because I felt inspired to write. Not for anyone but myself. I read a lot of comedic books and wondered if I should venture into comedy. I dreamed of having a blog and hoped that someone would be interested in reading my words.
Months later I decided to return to my hometown. I still had no life plans but the passion of writing remained. I dropped the comedy act and constantly thought of a book I read in college, Life Entrepreneurs by Christopher Gergen and Gregg Vanourek. The authors wrote about people who took initiative to become leaders and change their lives and their careers making them entrepreneurs of life. The book inspired me to become a life entrepreneur and encouraged me to want to write about the live’s of others and how they discovered their passions.
I knew I needed to practice my interview skills.
I turned to the first people I always turn to when I have an idea, my parents. I asked if I could interview them. This was a little bit of a touchy subject because originally my mom wanted to write the book on her story and her life.
The first thing out of her mouth was
“You can’t have our story I’m writing a book about it, not you.”
I told her I knew she wanted to write a book and she didn’t need to worry because I had no intentions of stealing her story. I only wanted to practice my interview skills so I could write a book about strangers I had yet to meet.
After that initial day of interviewing I did not continue with that plan.
I still wrote in my spare time, but nothing that I shared with anyone else.
The following summer I went out of town and while I was away my parents spoke their story together. I had no idea it was something they were doing and they didn’t even invite me.
Once I returned they presented me with their ideas. They loved sharing their story and decided it was something they wanted to do. They wanted a life change that would allow them to inspire people. It sounded to me like they wanted to be life entrepreneurs. Knowing they couldn’t write their book alone they asked me to help them. The following week I began to interview them about their lives.
I knew there was a writer somewhere deep inside of me, I just needed her to come out. That was the summer of 2012. Since then I have built this website and I am a better writer. It is a blessing how life works and how God works because the three of us are pursing our dreams, but together.
One day I will write that book where I interview strangers about their passions in life.
For now I will continue to help my parents to pursue their dreams while achieving my own of becoming an author.
I want to encourage any one reading this to pursue their passions, and not to be afraid to ask for help from people who have the tools to help you achieve those goals. I never asked if I could write the book for my mom because I thought it was something she wanted to do. Now it is even more of a blessing because the three of us get to do it together.
How was I going to become a writer, if I didn’t have a story to write?
How were they going to have a book written if they couldn’t write it themselves?
My next encouragement for you is to help me help them purse these passions. Share their story and our website with people you know. Help them make the connections they need to accomplish their goals.
This weekend I was able to witness my parents speak about their life story at the annual A Caring Pregnancy Resource Center banquet. I was so proud of them. I loved hearing their story not only because I was a part of it but because it really is an amazing how our family came to be. Read Our Story for background information on our family.
Adoption is such a beautiful thing.
I was also able to hear another family’s story of their daughter’s adoption. They were truly an inspiration to anyone longing to have a child. The power of prayer was the biggest part of their story and they can even admit that they knew God was telling them it wasn’t their time just yet. They needed to wait for God’s time and God’s way.
This couple had both been through divorces and went through the adoption process to have a child together. After they were able to adopt their daughter they said something along the lines of “we were all unwanted and we came together as a family because we wanted each other.” That is such a relatable statement, we all at some points have been unwanted, as a friend, as a lover, as a student, a co-worker, but then we find those who want us and we stick by them. We are all searching where we belong and where we belong is always with the people who want us.
I cannot imagine my family any other way. I am always proud that my family is unique. That we each found each other because that was how it was meant to be. Unwanted by one person is never unwanted by all.
I see my siblings and it amazes me how much they are like me. My brother Jason acts like I did at his age and it scares me, but it makes me smile because I know it is because we were raised by the same two people. He has traits instilled in him because of our parents. Seeing that makes me know 100% that we all belong to each other as a family.
Family are always the people who choose you and want you.
I was an only child for 14 years before I became a big sister. I grew up longing for a brother or sister to have as a playmate, but I was in high school when it finally happened. I received the gift of two little brothers at once. Whenever I am around my siblings I turn into a kid. I am never to old to stoop down to their level and engage in an “I know you are but what am I” conversation that never ends.
Being a big sister is one of my favorite parts of life. I am always protective of my siblings and I always hope that they will be okay. That they are just as accepting of their adoption as I am. For now I know they are but it is hard not to worry that at one day they will question our family. I have never for one single second questioned my family or wished that it was any other way. I am the way I am because I was an only child for so long and I am the way I am because I became a sister later in life.
Nothing could make me feel differently.
It was hard to find a picture of the 4 of us. This was my college graduation 2011, they are obviously enthused to be there!
Recently the three of us traveled to New York City for the annual NAPCRG (North American Primary Care Research Group) conference. We are all part of the Community Advisory Committee for the High Plains Research Network and were graciously invited to attend this conference in NYC. Norah and Sergio have attended several NAPCRG conferences, but this was my first time.
The conference was filled with research projects and it made me feel like I was in college all over again. P < 0.05 (in case anyone is a research nerd.) Learning is my favorite activity. Attending conferences is another one of my favorite activities because they are filled with people who are not only knowledgable, but who also want to learn. Spoiler alert, nerd alert.
Our hotel was located in Times Square. Right in the middle of all the action. You cannot see the sun shinning but you can see flashing lights from all the TV screens. Are they even called TV when they are that giant? I don’t think big screen is a justifiable term.
The noise never stops and sleeping was difficult. I’m from the plains where cop sirens are a rare noise. Horn honking is something I never hear. I loved the city, but it made me appreciate my small town life.
I got an I heart NY shirt because some clichés are clichés for a reason.
The most memorable was when we rode the subway to visit the 9/11 Memorial. We got off the subway and surprise there was no elevator, we kind of expected it but we couldn’t let that stop us. Everyone one except for me, picked up Sergio, and his wheelchair to carry him up the stairs. Instead of helping I took pictures. We did not let this hinder our experience. Sometimes you need a little boost, push, or a lift to get you where you want. The end result is always worth it.
The Wheels of Grace must continue to roll despite slight obstacles.
The 9/11 Memorial is stunning. I couldn’t really speak when I peered inside the deep empty holes where the towers used to stand. I honestly didn’t know what the memorial looked like. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I hadn’t seen pictures of it. I’ve seen the Washington Monument in person, I’ve seen the Lincoln Memorial in person, I went to the statue of Liberty on this same trip. I loved visiting those sites but you stand in front of them and you look at them and you take a picture and then you walk on. You find yourself thinking about what other tourists places you can squeeze into your trip.
But the 9/11 Memorial kept me there for longer then the time it takes to snap a picture and walk away. It kept me captivated.
It is very symbolic because instead of building a monument to stand up high in the sky it was build in the preexisting foundation of the Twin Towers. In order to see the beauty you have to walk right up to the memorial and look down into the waterfalls
It kept me thinking and reflecting on my country and my life. It may have hit hard because it is the first catastrophe I’ve witnessed in my country. All other catastrophes I’ve only read in text books. I did not see this one first hand but it was a day when all of our worlds changed. They day when we all knew exactly where we were all day, watching the news.
The next day we mapped out a route to The Statue of Liberty and made sure all the stops were wheelchair accessible. Other times in life instead of taking a boost or a push you have to take an alternative route to get to your destination. It is all about learning from experience and knowing that the end result is always worth it.
We met a man on the subway who noticed we were lost, tourists needing direction. He gave us traveling advice, we thanked him and he replied,
“It takes a village.”
It does take a village to get through this thing called life, but we keep rolling on.
November is the month where we give thanks, it is the perfect time to share what I am most thankful for this year.
1. Family
I have an amazing family who is always there for each other no matter what. We stick together when times are hard and we lift each other up when the times are good. We often spend Friday nights having dinner together or Sundays watching football. Those are the days I cherish the most. I love to be around them because I know that no matter what they have to love me!
2. Friends
My friends don’t have to love me like my family does, but I know they do. Our relationships are at the point where they are family. If too much time passes when we don’t see each other it doesn’t matter because we can always pick up right where we left off.
3. Coffee
It is my favorite beverage and without it I couldn’t get through any of my days. I wake up and think about coffee every morning. Making it or stopping by a coffee shop to purchase it has made me late to wherever I needed to be since 2003, maybe sooner.
4. Forgivness
I am the least spiritual person in my family and it is something I constantly work on. There are people who read my parents posts and their love for the Lord radiates through them. I often take their values and try to instill them in myself and I can honestly say that it is difficult. I can catch glimpses of God working in my life, but he isn’t always present and he isn’t always the person I turn to first. That is why I am thankful for the forgiveness that God has. I am thankful to know that even in my weakest days he will be there.
5. Prayer
I may not pray every day, but there is one thing that I am certain of; my mother prays for me every day. She is my constant reminder that prayer is important. If I am struggling she asks if I have prayed and she makes sure I know she is praying for me. Those prayers hold a special kind of power.
Share your thanks this month! We all have so many things to be thankful, even the little things.
