Have you ever been involved in so many ministries and organizations that your calendar is full?
Your servant’s heart longs to be it’s best in all of them. Each ministry shares a part of your passion and you want to do them all justice. Many times you have promised yourself you would not say yes to one more as your heart speaks loudly. Your heart wants to keep serving.
I love to serve, love to help others, I pray that I can serve as a career. I pray that God will allow me in the future to be free to serve full time. Is having a calendar full of service to others a good problem to have ? I don’t know?
Even though I said my calendar was full I added one more to my list. My heart has longed to make a difference in the lives of orphaned children. This year I have committed to helping my church organize an event for Orphan Sunday. This event includes a 5k, speaking, helping with advertising, a meal and much more. When we feel that tug in our heart we should respond. I have experienced so many blessings from answering the tugs.
Before Sergio and I answered the call to adopt two little boys ages 4 and 5 I never understood the true meaning of the word orphan. Most of us know that an orphan is a parentless child. In my life an orphan has not been only parentless. An orphaned child is abandoned, mistreated, malnourished, beaten, and left with many scares. In my daily life it takes a different kind of love for my children to believe that I chose them until God calls me home. I promised them the kind of love that will fight for their need to grow and heal. I will help them recover from wounds created by the loss of their bio parents.
Years later we answered the adoption call again. She was 2 and I prayed that the scars would be few. Again God taught me that each child is unique not only in personality but in recovering from loss. With her I have learned compassion and communication. She has a longing to understand the hard question of why. I have learned to rely on my heavenly father to answer her tough questions. Most days I don’t understand why, but I know that I can attempt to answer any question with lots of love.
An orphan is NOT just a parentless child. An orphans is a child that needs a special kind of love that we all can give. They are our children. God’s children.
In preparation for Orphan Sunday we will be sharing our adoption story as well as other stories on adoption. Please continue to ROLL with us. Our Prayer is for you in some way to come alongside and help these children. We pray for other churches to set time aside on November 8th (this year’s Orphan Sunday) to pray for the children who are orphaned. Visit the Orphan Sunday website to find out how you and your church can help.
When life gives you the opportunity to serve keep serving. Your work will not go unnoticed. If you’ve touched one person you have made a difference. Your willingness to serve makes our world a better place. My calendar is full, but so is my heart.
I felt the need to write about my oldest son and some of the hard times we have faced as a family lately. He was 6 years old when we were blessed to have him be a part of our family. Norah and I adopted him and his brother because we wanted our family to grow and we opened up our hearts to the world of adoption. Our intentions are always to help our family members grow up strong, knowing they are loved, knowing that they are part of a family, and that they would always be part of our lives forever.
This past year and a half have been one of the most difficult times in my life. When our boys came to live with us we told them we would always be here for them, they would always have a home, and that family always sticks together no matter what.
We weren’t prepared for the baggage that my son was carrying from his past. He was part of neglect and abuse from his biological family the first 3 years of his life and the next 3 years he spent jumping from one foster home to another foster home. This has made life for my son difficult now that he is becoming a young man. He struggles with controlling his anger and struggles to share his inner deep feelings. At an early age we could tell that he was easily angered and it didn’t take much for him to throw a tantrum when he felt he didn’t get his way or that no one was listening to him.
We thought he would grow out of it and that we could handle his behavior, but as he got older his anger became worse. We knew he was not in control of his actions and that he couldn’t stop his anger. Everything that we tried didn’t work and we knew that it was only a matter of time before he would hurt himself or someone else.
We had to have our son removed from the house that we said was his and separate him from his family that was supposed to stick together no matter what. We placed him in a treatment facility to help him gain control of his life. This must be more difficult for him now, because now he must feel that he has lost everything again and that he’s by himself in this world, on top of the rest of the baggage he’s been carrying for the past 16 years.
As a father the thought of this makes me want to cry, I was supposed to save and protect him from the world and I failed. I know this is the way it needs to be right now, my son has to find tools to help him handle the anger and to find the tools on how to communicate his feelings so the people around him can understand and help. I try not to get too caught up in the guilt that comes, but it is very difficult.
I want my son to know that I believe in him and not to worry about any of the past mistakes or hard times, because some of the best things in life come from our mistakes. We will be together one day and it will all be behind us. When that day comes we can focus on getting his driver’s license and I can help him with a few pointers on how to get a girls attention. We just have to get passed this hurdle. My job right now as his father is to let him know that no matter what I will always be here for him. And that he will never lose his spot at the dinner table.
Today I encourage you to not miss the opportunity to let a loved one know that they are in your thoughts. If anyone would like to share how they did this I would love to hear it.
This weekend I was able to witness my parents speak about their life story at the annual A Caring Pregnancy Resource Center banquet. I was so proud of them. I loved hearing their story not only because I was a part of it but because it really is an amazing how our family came to be. Read Our Story for background information on our family.
Adoption is such a beautiful thing.
I was also able to hear another family’s story of their daughter’s adoption. They were truly an inspiration to anyone longing to have a child. The power of prayer was the biggest part of their story and they can even admit that they knew God was telling them it wasn’t their time just yet. They needed to wait for God’s time and God’s way.
This couple had both been through divorces and went through the adoption process to have a child together. After they were able to adopt their daughter they said something along the lines of “we were all unwanted and we came together as a family because we wanted each other.” That is such a relatable statement, we all at some points have been unwanted, as a friend, as a lover, as a student, a co-worker, but then we find those who want us and we stick by them. We are all searching where we belong and where we belong is always with the people who want us.
I cannot imagine my family any other way. I am always proud that my family is unique. That we each found each other because that was how it was meant to be. Unwanted by one person is never unwanted by all.
I see my siblings and it amazes me how much they are like me. My brother Jason acts like I did at his age and it scares me, but it makes me smile because I know it is because we were raised by the same two people. He has traits instilled in him because of our parents. Seeing that makes me know 100% that we all belong to each other as a family.
Family are always the people who choose you and want you.
I was an only child for 14 years before I became a big sister. I grew up longing for a brother or sister to have as a playmate, but I was in high school when it finally happened. I received the gift of two little brothers at once. Whenever I am around my siblings I turn into a kid. I am never to old to stoop down to their level and engage in an “I know you are but what am I” conversation that never ends.
Being a big sister is one of my favorite parts of life. I am always protective of my siblings and I always hope that they will be okay. That they are just as accepting of their adoption as I am. For now I know they are but it is hard not to worry that at one day they will question our family. I have never for one single second questioned my family or wished that it was any other way. I am the way I am because I was an only child for so long and I am the way I am because I became a sister later in life.
Nothing could make me feel differently.
It was hard to find a picture of the 4 of us. This was my college graduation 2011, they are obviously enthused to be there!
“Adoption is a special kind of love that is shared not by people who are related by blood, but people who are related by love.”
All around the world tonight there are children who do not have a place to call home. Children that for one reason or another do not have a mother or a father who can care for them. Some of these children do not have family members who are suitable to raise them. It is a sad reality. Right now as I am typing pictures are being added to the list of children waiting for their forever family. Sometimes the wait is not long and other times the wait can drag on for years. Some children become of age and never have the opportunity to sit across a dinner table from people they can call family. There will always be that hole in their hearts. A hole that only a family can fill.
I don’t know all there is to know about adoption but I do know that you can give a child a foundation to build on when making the choice to open your hearts. The passion that I show my children will come through as a mama bear fighting for her baby cubs. I will protect my cubs. When times get tough I will always seek the help that they need, I will show them love and I will offer a listening ear when they need to talk. I will answer any and all of their questions to the best of my ability. I will never make them feel that their past is a big black secret that no one can talk about. I will encourage them to talk about their bio parents if that is needed for healing. My children know that if the need to search for the people who created them weighs heavy on their hearts, I will help them. My prayer is that each one of my children will include me in that process. They know that I thank God for them and that my life has been forever changed because of them. I have learned so much about compassion, patience, understating and grace being their mother. I will forever have their backs and I will seek Gods wisdom when making decisions for them that may impact their lives. What I do know about adoption is that it changes you from the inside out.
