After a 13 hour hike and long ride home I was exhausted to the point where I could’ve fallen asleep standing up. All I could think about was a warm shower and my bed. In the back seat of the car my youngest complained that she was hungry and we had just eaten two hours prior. I didn’t want to take the time to stop and I didn’t want to smell food. Good ol daddy quickly pulled into the closest drive thru to save time and to keep a mommy and a daughter happy.
Once those big brown eyes saw the golden arches and had a bite of a chicken nugget was in her mouth she was happy. I began to relax in the car again and from the back seat I hear her tell her daddy that his slogan is on the red box that once held the nuggets. She was so excited that on one side of the box were the words rolling on.
Sergio and I both smiled that at her age she understands what that means and what we want to share with the world.
Keep Rolling On
I sat the rest of the ride home remembering why I journeyed this hike. Why I pushed my body my mind and my soul to conquer many obstacles. I thought of what my main purpose is.
I want to be a good example to others when it comes to overcoming obstacles. I want to encourage others not to give up. I want to share how my husband continues to push through despite the trauma he faced at a young age. To share how he encourages me by doing the simple everyday routine of getting up for work to provide for his family.
I now see it as simple while others would see it as complicated. He made the choice years ago to work instead of collecting a disability check. He made the choice to push forward to live life to the fullest. Watching him do tasks that are more challenging make me challenge myself. I have watched him build a deck that included a ramp that leads to a paved patio from a seated position. I have witnessed him tear things down and build them up.
Watching him keep rolling on pushes me to keep rolling on. Life has no guarantees and we are not promised that we will be here tomorrow so I encourage you to push through whatever obstacles or goals you may have. Look them straight in the eye and roll right over them. If your slogan was in print how would it read? What would it represent? What is your purpose? Keep Rolling On
I used to think that I was alone in this world. That I was the only person with a particular kind of life.
The only one…
The kind of person who had more than two parents.
The kind of person raised with a wheelchair.
The kind of person raised by teenagers.
The kind of person who was introverted and quiet.
The kind of person with adopted siblings.
The kind of person who had to explain my family members.
I woke up and realized that I am not the only person in any of those categories.
I came across The Wheelchair Mommy and I love her blog. Her kids will get to experience having a parent in a wheelchair, like I did. I can tell that she does not let her wheelchair hinder her life. She embraces it as a part of who she is.I bet her children will grow up and feel the same way about her that I feel about my dad. I am not the only person in this world who was raised by a wheelchair. I love to meet new people who let me know that I am not alone. I am not the only one.
I can only image the number of people in this world raised by teen parents. There is a show about teen moms, it was created to prevent teen pregnancy, however the show depicts that teen parenting does happen. I know that I am not the only one.
Most people I know have more than two parents. Sometimes they use the word step to identify them. I am not the only person in this world who has to describe their family members.
My parents did a talk this year sharing their adoption story and immediately after a high school girl walked up to me and said “my life is just like yours.” It shocked me to know that someone had a life paralleled to mine. She was an only child until she was older and she became a big sister through adoption. She has an understanding that people with adoptive siblings understand. She knows what it is like to play the role of a big sister to people who need so much love in their lives. I am not the only one.
After reading Quiet: the Power of Introverts I know that I am not the only introvert. Some of the post unexpected people are introverts, and introvert does not mean shy or anti-social. After reading the book, I set it down and thought finally someone understands me, I am not the only one.
No matter what you are going through in life or no matter if you think you are the only one that is never the case. You have certain qualities in your life that you can share with someone else. How can you use those unique qualities to reach out to others that have those same unique qualities? You are not alone.
The internet is vast but the more and more we share our lives the more people I find that can relate to me. Sometimes they are people in wheelchairs, and sometimes they are people who grew up quiet, or people who love to write. I love to learn from any person who has experienced the same parts of life that I have. At the end of the day we are all human and that is the simplest, relatable thing we need to communicate with each other. We are not alone.
Have you ever reached a point in your life when you felt there was no way out of the deep hole you’ve found yourself in?
I found myself here a long time ago, not by choice, but by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I can remember it as if it just happened yesterday. This was the day that my doctor told me I would no longer have the use of my legs. I would be paralyzed for the rest of my life.
Laying in my bed wondering what I was going to do, was the moment when my downward free fall started. Worrying about what the future would look like and worrying about how people would react to me in a wheelchair consumed my mind.
At 18 you don’t ever think this is going to happen to you, you’re in the mind set to explore the world and enjoying your young adult existence. Trying to climb your way out of a hole is never in the plans.
You’re left with 2 options; stay in the darkness and fade away or look for strength in the situation that you find yourself in. I chose the easier of the two; to stay in the dark. The dark drove me mad at the world and everything about it. You know you’re there when you no longer can see the light. Many people use the phrase rock bottom. Once I got to this point I knew that I had to make a change, because I wouldn’t have the energy to fight my way out if I went any deeper. I was tired of the misery of life.
It was my awakening, just enough light got me to find enough strength to fight my way out.
I chose to find strength, it first came from looking at my legs and saying “this isnt going to stop me.” I may not be able to move my legs but I can move my arms and my arms will become my legs. Then I found strength by looking at the people around me and trying to not become a burden them. I wanted to find a way to show the world that my life is not a waste, and that it is worth fighting for.
I want to live.
By changing my attitude every day I started to create steps that formed a ladder, and eventually I could pull myself out of the darkness. While I was in the darkness I found that I was never alone, I was just blinded by my hate and fear, I couldn’t see what was always with me. It doesn’t always work out that you can create your own steps to get out, we must help those that are in the dark, by telling and showing them that they are not alone. There is comfort that can be found, and there is hope, even in the dark.
Sometimes the first step forward is knowing that you’re not alone. Now that I’m not in the darkness any longer, I can still see that there are many that need to find the light. Instead of putting my head down and acting like I don’t realize when people need the light, I commit to open my eyes and acknowledging that I’m here to help. There was a time that I felt that there was no tomorrow because I lost the ability to walk. I was wrong that was the beginning of my life transformation.
Romans 13:11-12
And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.
Today I encourage those who have escaped the grip of the darkness to not be blind to those who are still in the dark. Help them to see that their salvation is nearer than they think, and that the light will fade the dark away.
Acts 13:47
For this is what the Lord has commanded us:
I have made you a light for the Gentiles,
that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.
Retreat. That is what was needed this weekend. I had one of those weeks that kept me tied down and unable to put any effort in my goals. Unable to stay caught up with life’s demands. I was tired and could not focus. Life was getting the best of me. My sleep pattern was off, my exercise patter was off, my eating habits were off. I was just off. So I did the best thing I could of done, I retreated.
The beautiful mountains of Colorado summoned me.
At first I had a hard time convincing myself to pack my bags and go. How could I leave so much undone? Leaving anything undone is something I cannot get myself to do often. Flowers in pots that needed planted, laundry that needed attention, a youth retreat to prepare for, a house that needed cleaned, and an extra day away from my job. I was starting to feel guilty for leaving. But I did what was the best for me, my family, and my co-workers.
As I sit here typing and admiring the view that God has created, I realize that he set this opportunity for me at just the right time. Had I decided to stay home I would of planted those flowers in a manner that lacked the joy I had when I purchased them. I would of stayed home to catch up on chores that would not of feed my soul like the mountain air is doing right now. Staying home I would have forced myself to prepare for a youth retreat when my mind was clouded not allowing my creative side to show. I would have not entered my job with the attitude that it deservers.
I urge you to retreat when your tank is low. Get away. Do this whenever you are feeling as if you cannot accomplish your goals with joy. Don’t force yourself if you do not have a deadline to meet. Push the list away and acknowledge that you need time to refuel your soul. Time to be in pure silence, time to regroup.
I will not always have the opportunity to retreat far from home and leaving my home may not even be an option at times. We can still find a way to retreat if only for a few minutes. Remove yourself from that place of discomfort and go to a different scenery. Close your eyes and take yourself to a place that brings you peace if that’s your only option. Do something to better your state of mind.
In time you begin to breathe better, to feel better. The clouds start to part from your mind . All the creativity and joy begin to peek through the clouds. You are able to return to your tasks with peace and grace.
Retreat: The act or process of moving back or away, especially from something hazardous, formidable, or unpleasant. A period of seclusion, retirement, or solitude.
Share with me how you were able to retreat when you need to refuel. Where are those places you go when you cannot venture too far?
June is the month we decided to push the button to start a blog, but even before June we took weeks to decide what our name was going to be. It took countless e-mails, lists, text messages, and arguments before we settled on The Wheels of Grace.
After knowing that The Wheels of Grace was our name we dove into learning how to build a blog. It took 4 months of learning and writing before we officially released it to the world.
I did what I do in any life situation ever, I bought a book. I read that book and read articles, watched videos, and I put all of my little soul into making a website.
I like to think of this as our pre-birthday. The time when we were conceived. The gestation period for our blog was 4 months and when September came we were born.
I can safely say that it is the most enjoyable thing that I have learned and the thing I have been most passionately driven to do.
I believe in the three of us more than I have believed in anything else in the world.
In September we will celebrate our birth and today we will celebrate our conception.
Here are the things I have learned.
1. Practice
1 year ago I knew nothing about blogging and only barely realized I wanted to be a writer. I now have a year of practice and I am better for it.
Any goal of yours can be completed with hard work.
2. I cannot learn it all immediately.
I immersed myself into learning and I learned a lot, but at times I tried to learn too, much too quickly. I read advice from other bloggers who were in a different blogging place than I was. It took this entire year to figure out what speed I could handle learning at. The beautiful part is that I still have so much to learn and learning is my favorite activity!
We are meant to learn every day for the rest of our lives, the learning process is never over. That fact should make us joyful.
3. I found who I am.
I started this project with the intent to help Norah and Sergio pursue their dreams but somewhere along the way I found out a few things about myself. I found that I love to write, which is something I used to hate doing. I found my long lost passion for photography, which I am still very much learning and would not call myself good at all. And I found a passion for wanting to design our website to be beautiful. I have designed our website several times and it is still not how I want it to look, but I have learned so much along the way.
Finding your own dreams often comes from helping others pursue their own.
4. The internet can teach you anything.
Most of my learning has come from Pinterest and Google Searching. If there is something I want to learn how to do there is someone in the world who knows how.
Community is the best way to learn.
5. Jut do it!
I still don’t think this blog is good enough for people to see, but how was I ever going to learn if I didn’t dive in a try.
Spring is beautiful and so is the day set aside to honor our mothers. Traditionally my Mother’s Day starts off attending church services with my family. Our pastor throughout the years has done an amazing job filling our hearts with what it means to honor our mothers. Usually a gift is given in recognition of all the love and nurturing the mothers have given to their families. I don’t know if Sergio notices the hand squeeze I give almost every year when the pastor talks about what an important role we play in our children’s lives. My prayer is that he never takes that slight squeeze of his hand as a way to ask him, “hey are you listening to the pastor? He is talking about how amazing of am mother I am. Listen to how great I am!” I without a doubt know that Sergio believes me to be an amazing mother because he is great with words of affirmation and always has been. Not a week goes by that he dose not tell me what a great job I do in caring for our children. The squeeze of his hand is one of comfort for him. One to acknowledge the fact that mothers day may be painful for him. To let him know that I have not forgotten the void in his heart.
Sergio lost his mother when he was 23. We had just moved into our first home. Boxes were piled in every room when we received the call. Within minutes we were on the highway headed to the city that had brought him so much trauma. Entering the hospital that he almost lost his life not once, but twice opened so many wounds. In this hospital Sergio’s mother life would not be spared. After watching her heart beat its last beat a part of Sergio left this earth with her. He will forever have a void. Sergio struggled for years talking about his mother and their relationship. It was better to pretend the first couple of years, that because we lived almost three hours away, she just had not had the time to visit. I learned to not bring her death up unless he did. As years passed he has gotten better talking openly about her and her sudden death. Writing our book has made it more comfortable for Sergio to talk and gives him the opportunity to reminisce.
This Mother’s Day I will squeeze his hand as always when it is time to honor our mother as a way to let him know that I will not forget his. To let him know that I understand and appreciate the great effort he puts forth to make this a special day for me. I will hold his hand to show him that I will forever support and encourage him to talk openly or quietly to God about his feelings relating to the loss of his mother. I will hold on to his hand for as long as he needs me to.
On Mother’s Day I would like you to embrace your families and make it a mission to enjoy the beautiful creation God has set before you. Hold your mother close and thank her for all she has done and continues to do for you. Look at those precious gifts that have given you the name mother, but not without prayers for the motherless. Pray for the ones that would love to have that opportunity to sit across from their mother and share something as simple as her smile and her voice. Squeeze the hand of the ones that you know long for one more tender hug from their mother. Hold on to their hand if that is needed. Don’t let go until they do. As I tread through
