I started this journey with writing a book about my parents and it blossomed into a million different things.
I realized that we were nobody’s in the world of publishing. Every advice I read and listened to said you have to start a blog and gain a platform. So we started The Wheels of Grace.
Since then I learned how to blog, continued to write our book, and more tasks came with it.
The next words I heard over and over again were you need a social media following: We started a Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
Next was you have to get published before you can get published. I began to write my own book that I wanted to self publish to be published before published.
Every single day I struggle with where to put my time and energy. I have a full time job which takes up 40 hours of my week. Should I be taking the time to write my original book (which is the ultimate goal), should I be writing my book that I need to publish before I can publish, should I be building my social media platform, , should I be writing a new blog post, should I be taking pictures or making graphics for the new blog posts?
The lists are endless. There are a million things that come with writing a book and most of them are not even writing the book.
I have to be honest and say that it is a lot of work.
You may think that it sounds like I want to be social media famous, but that isn’t it at all. Publishers take into account how many people follow you on social media. To publishers the amount of followers you have on social media translates into how my books you will sell. It is insane how crazy and competitive it is to get a book published and with the way of the internet it only gets more competitive.
I say all of this because for a while I haven’t felt good enough to do any of these things. I honestly haven’t opened up my laptop for weeks. Which isn’t like me at all. I haven’t even opened a book, which is definitely not like me in the slightest.
This is not to say that I’m giving up, or that I won’t accomplish my goal, but only to say I’m stuck in a rut. I took a little break and I wrote this mostly for myself. So I can tell myself that the only way I can get to my goal is by doing all of these things. Some days are harder than others. The easiest days are when I receive e-mails from people telling me they enjoy our blog. Those are the days when I know it will all work out.
I do all of this to share our story and to be able to put it in the hands of others. For people to be able to hold our book in their hands, and smell the pages. I do it to encourage others and let them know that no matter how low you get in life that there is always a way to get up.
What will it take for you to accomplish your dream? Does it come with extra things you didn’t realized you had to do? Are you willing to do those unforeseen things because you goal means that much to you?
In the world of dreams I really think we can each accomplish them. As soon as I publish my book, my next dream is to help others reach their dreams. I really would like to devote my life to letting others know that they can do whatever it is they want.
The only thing we all have to understand is that doing whatever you want comes with late nights, early mornings, working through lunch, missing social events, staying home on the weekends, and constantly doing whatever it takes to get to that goal.
The other thing is knowing when to take a break and when to slow down. Knowing that it’s okay to not open your laptop for a week or two, but to get right back to it. Write yourself a letter to say that its okay that you’re not doing the best right now, but you will soon.
I had to write this to myself and to you because I know that you and I can do it. I will get my book published now matter how long it takes, I will build up our platform, and become noticed.
You will do it too, whatever that is. You will take extra time to start your dream today. You will stay up a little later, and you will wake up a little earlier. You will bring your lunch to your day job so you can use that time to work on your dream. You will start finding other people who do what you want to do and you will study how they do it. If they have a blog you will read that blog, if they have a podcast you will listen to that podcast. If they have a book you will read that book.
Now you will only do those things for some of the time, you must not waste all your time learning, you must take that leap and start doing. Promise me and yourself that you will start learning and then start doing.
We can do it!
Share with me what your dream is and maybe I can start early of helping others fulfill their dreams. After all my dream of getting my book published isn’t really my dream at all, it is my parents dream and I decided to be the one to help them achieve it.
It is a word we use often, but how much do we really mean it?
I say I’m thankful for things but it can be a word that is tossed around lightly. I wrote this post last year about things I’m thankful for, coffee is one of them. Sure I’m thankful for coffee I’m glad it exists, but isn’t that such a worldly thing to be thankful for?
We say we are thankful for small things because we are afraid to dig deep into our emotions.
Every year at Thanksgiving my family goes around and says things they are thankful for. My answer is always the same “carbohydrates.” I say it as a joke, but the reality is that I hate sharing my feelings and opening up, especially when all eyes are on me.
I will never forget the Thanksgiving after my cousin lost her mom, through heartbroken tears her response was “I am thankful for my supportive family” She was only 6 or 7 that Thanksgiving. She truly knows the meaning of being thankful for her family.
I would bet a million dollars that the same Thanksgiving my cousin cried over being so thankful, I used the carbohydrates joke. I should want to feel so thankful for my family that it makes me cry. There have been days when I cry of how blessed I am, but those tears only come during the hard times in my life. When will I learn to truly seize the day and to really open up to all of the things I am thankful for.
I am thankful for all the people who have paved the way for me to be the spoiled coffee loving America that I am.
I am thankful for the lack of pain and suffering that others have endured for me.
I am thankful for the sacrifices my parents have made for me, to ensure that I never went without.
I am thankful for all the people who stand by me and are supportive of my dreams.
I will try my best to remember these every day and to not take them for granted like I do most days. I will do my best to never forget that every day.
What are you thankful for? Try to go beyond the mashed potatoes, yams, pies, and rolls. What are you really thankful for deep down in your soul?
It has been 4 years since I received my undergrad degree and didn’t attend grad school. Now that I think about it if I had gone I would have already received my masters and on to doctoral school. but that wasn’t my calling, this is.
Right after graduation everyone asked me about grad school. The truth is I didn’t get accepted. The other truth is I knew I wouldn’t get accepted. I applied for programs that only let in 3-5 students per year. I wanted to take the fastest route to my doctorate degree. I didn’t even apply for a grad school program that didn’t include a doctorate. The moment I applied I knew I wasn’t going to go, but I held onto a tiny amount of hope. I was silly enough to believe that I would get accepted even though my chances were low and I was probably not one of the most qualified.
I cried for months. Almost every single day. A lot of the tears were because I didn’t get accepted but since I was kind of prepared for that, most of the tears were because I didn’t have a plan. I had nothing. I had a Bachelor’s degree and I worked at a coffee shop, the same coffee shop I worked at for 4 years.
My friends all had plans, were all moving away, and I was stuck doing nothing. It was a very sad time in my life. Everyone around me knew how devastated I was. The words grad school would make me well up in tears.
I told everyone I would apply the next year. And so I applied the next year to the very same programs. The ones that only let in 3-5 students per year. I still didn’t apply to simply graduate schools, I only applied to those with a doctorate program built in. And again, I knew I wouldn’t be accepted.
The second time around had no tears. I was over it. A friend said that it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I wouldn’t have all those thousands of dollars of debt. It really was the best thing that could have happened to me. I just didn’t know it yet.
A few days ago an old coworker who knew my original plan said “Did you get into school?” and I simply said “No that’s not my path any more”
For the first time in 4 years I didn’t feel like crying.
She was a co-worker that always pushed me to go to graduate school. She always told me that I was more than the life I’m living. I began to write my book in secret 3 years ago. I so badly wanted to tell her about it, but I didn’t. But 3 years ago when I started writing I promised myself that when my book came out she would be one of the first people I gave it to. I would walk up to her and say “I didn’t get into graduate school, but I wrote this book instead.” And I still will get to walk up to her and say that. Maybe not now and maybe not next year. But I will tell her.
I think there will be a day when I set out to get my book published and I will be rejected, and there will be an abundance of tears. However, the difference is I will fight until it is published one way or another. I will not say I’ll try again next year, I will say I will try again tomorrow, and the next day after that. My tears will be sad but they will be filled with determination.
Is there something in your life that makes you cry? Did you miss a goal of yours only to realize that there was something more for you?
I’m not sure exactly what you’re going through only that one day the crying will stop. You will be less hurt later on than you are right now. I thought I would never get over graduate school. But it is liberating to not cry any more over something that happened 4 years ago.
Don’t be like me. Don’t wait 4 years to stop crying. Change now, go for it now. Stop crying now. Sure you’ll cry every now and again but maybe you’ll cry less than you used to.
Keep Rolling On and find the new path in life that makes you stop crying.
Answer: relative, but I think the real answer is years. It takes years to build a dream. Plural. YEARS.
My dad and I went to the Tribe Conference hosted by Jeff Goins in Franklin, Tennessee this past weekend. My mom stayed home and while we were away people asked where we were. Her reply, “Building our dreams.”
I used to have this dream of getting the highest education possible. I wanted to be Ashley Espinoza Ph.D. I wanted to be a psychiatrist. When the time came to attempt to fulfill my dream I didn’t feel as passionate about them as I once did. I achieved my undergrad degree in Psychology, but when it came time to move on I just didn’t feel it any more. I applied to graduate school because it was the right thing to do. It was my dream after all. But when I dug deep down into myself, I didn’t want it any more.
I didn’t know what I wanted.
A year after graduating from college I had no plans. I moved back to my hometown and I was lost. Then something magical happened. My mom and dad shared their story with an audience. Their audience was receptive to what they had to say and they realized it was their time to fulfill their own dreams. Their dreams were to share their story in any way that they could. They wanted to get up on stage and speak. The wanted to sit down a write a book. They knew they could speak because they proved that. They weren’t sure how to write a book or how to make this dream happen.
They asked me to help. That very next day I made plans to write their book. I sat each of them down and began the interview process. For two years I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. I then realized I shouldn’t be writing in secret I needed to share our plans. I started this blog and the first week of Sept 2014 our first blog post was published. It has been a year since that day and I am proud of all three of us for going after our dreams.
We went to this conference to gain ideas about achieving our goal. We went to hear people inspire us by telling us that they were once in our place. They once had a dream and after years of hard work they fulfilled this dream. YEARS, it takes years.
We are in year 3 of building our dream and we still have years to go, but we are getting there. I can feel it.
I wanted to put into words how I felt about the conference how amazing it was, this is the best I can do and that does not do it justice.
Tribe Writer Conference:
I reach into my bag and pull out my pen and notebook. Immediately I get a notebook compliment. I know I am home based on that alone. I am surrounded by people who get me. The kind of people who care about what kind of notebook they write their notes on. The kind of people who are particular about their pens.
I am surrounded by people who listen. As writers we have the ability to listen properly. No idea is too wild or too crazy. People can say one sentence that will change my world. My notebook that receives compliments is filled with quotes. It is filled with book recommendations, filled with ideas for the book I am writing.
I have always been an introvert but at this writing conference I am an extrovert. I go out of my way to talk to as many people as possible. I am not shy for once in my life. I give others book recommendations. I talk about book characters as if they are real life people and no one is bored with my chatter.
When asked what I am writing I speak about it freely. I don’t have the desire to hide my thoughts or feel insecure about my work because the people I am speaking to get it, they understand.
I listen to the speakers and nod my head in agreement at every word they say. I am in awe of them. I go out of my way to talk to them during breaks. They are approachable and I’m not afraid or nervous. I am at home. They are all my people. They are my tribe.
At the end of it all I say the words I’ve been afraid to say after three years “I am a writer”
I am a writer and now my dream is to be Ashley Espinoza Author of ……..
What is your dream? Are you willing to build it for years? This is a quote I found on instagram about finding our dream and nothing could be more true than this.
Share with me your dream knowing that it will not be instantaneous. Tell me your 3 year plan of how you will go about achieving it. Keep Rolling On
I used to think that I was alone in this world. That I was the only person with a particular kind of life.
The only one…
The kind of person who had more than two parents.
The kind of person raised with a wheelchair.
The kind of person raised by teenagers.
The kind of person who was introverted and quiet.
The kind of person with adopted siblings.
The kind of person who had to explain my family members.
I woke up and realized that I am not the only person in any of those categories.
I came across The Wheelchair Mommy and I love her blog. Her kids will get to experience having a parent in a wheelchair, like I did. I can tell that she does not let her wheelchair hinder her life. She embraces it as a part of who she is.I bet her children will grow up and feel the same way about her that I feel about my dad. I am not the only person in this world who was raised by a wheelchair. I love to meet new people who let me know that I am not alone. I am not the only one.
I can only image the number of people in this world raised by teen parents. There is a show about teen moms, it was created to prevent teen pregnancy, however the show depicts that teen parenting does happen. I know that I am not the only one.
Most people I know have more than two parents. Sometimes they use the word step to identify them. I am not the only person in this world who has to describe their family members.
My parents did a talk this year sharing their adoption story and immediately after a high school girl walked up to me and said “my life is just like yours.” It shocked me to know that someone had a life paralleled to mine. She was an only child until she was older and she became a big sister through adoption. She has an understanding that people with adoptive siblings understand. She knows what it is like to play the role of a big sister to people who need so much love in their lives. I am not the only one.
After reading Quiet: the Power of Introverts I know that I am not the only introvert. Some of the post unexpected people are introverts, and introvert does not mean shy or anti-social. After reading the book, I set it down and thought finally someone understands me, I am not the only one.
No matter what you are going through in life or no matter if you think you are the only one that is never the case. You have certain qualities in your life that you can share with someone else. How can you use those unique qualities to reach out to others that have those same unique qualities? You are not alone.
The internet is vast but the more and more we share our lives the more people I find that can relate to me. Sometimes they are people in wheelchairs, and sometimes they are people who grew up quiet, or people who love to write. I love to learn from any person who has experienced the same parts of life that I have. At the end of the day we are all human and that is the simplest, relatable thing we need to communicate with each other. We are not alone.
