I did not get this whole football thing. Really why would I want to waste my time watching a bunch of men run, jump, kick, hit, and fight after an odd shaped ball? I had several perfectly good books that I would rather read. Sergio had given up on me being his football buddy. I am certain it was due to his frustration in having to explain over and over again the difference between a first down and a touch down. He didn’t want to explain why a penalty was given and why a play was challenged. I was not a very fast learner. For several games I would “try” to get in the zone but I would lose interest within minutes and would grab a book or do a house chores instead. I did learn very quickly that it does not make your your husband happy when you vacuum the room he is watching his beloved Broncos in. Dusting the TV does not make him happy either. The only way to recover the fumble is with chips and salsa. I have also learned not to start any conversations with my football fanatic unless I want the “look” because the conversation will be one sided. I have learned the art of asking a very quick question when a commercial is on and I mean quick because if the answer takes too much time and the game has commenced I get no answer until the next commercial. Well maybe!
Times have changed and I cannot believe that he has turned me into this crazy Broncos fan that truly bleeds Orange and Blue. I have even had a fantasy football team but for some odd reason when the Puerto Rican Players beat Rolling Thunder I didn’t get invited into the league again. With all the trash talking going on I should of known I was out when someone (will not mention any names but he goes by rolling thunder) had to eat his own words. I cried last year when my favorite team came out on the field for the Super Bowl. No not when they lost. Yes I was disappointed but I was proud that they had made it that far. I talk to them through the TV as if they can here me. Just trying to help them out. Oh no I am turning in to that crazy football person? What is happening to me?
The truth is football is Sergio’s only hobby and it can take up time. Time happens to be my love language and I did not want to be the kind of wife that nagged because the attention is not on her. I made the decision to learn about football so that I could enjoy the time with Sergio. Now my love has shifted to loving the men in orange and blue. It is Sergio’s fault for putting these men in my life. As time passed I learned the plays and I learned to be the best football buddy a guy could ever ask for. One year for our anniversary I surprised Sergio with tickets to a game. This was my first live football game. I teared up when my guys came on the field. I cheered so loud that I lost my voice. That year we beat the Patriots and I left the stadium with pride. The time I spent with my husband was priceless. Watching him enjoy himself in this environment left my heart filled. He thanked me over and over for this anniversary gift. He explained to me how much it meant to him that I came into his world. I think he was on a mile high!
Game days are special days. The snacks are planned in advance, chores are done in advance. A mass text to the family to invite them to come over and watch the game. Sunday football is the best because I put on my one of many team shirts to get ready for church. I get ready to worship God and I smile at my church family in the Broncos gear. Once services are over it is time to celebrate in Broncos country with the best fan ever……… my husband.
We continue to be Denver Broncos fans no matter what the outcome of the games are!
Sergio and Norh are are so excited that God as blessed them with the opportunity to share a part of their story at the A Caring Pregnancy Resource Center’s Annual Banquet. They could not think of a better way to start off the new year than being a part of the celebration of life. This fundraising banquet will help counsel and support crisis pregnancies. Please mark your cander and plan to attend. Visits the center’s website at http://neco-cpc.org to find out more.
For the past few months I have been reading The Happiness Project. The author Gretchen Rubin went on a quest to become happier by making resolutions for each month of the year. She wrote a book to document herself following through with her resolutions. She inspired me to start my own resolutions for the New Year and I wanted to document it with Norah and Sergio.
My first resolution is to stop pushing people to do what I want. I have a very bad habit of convincing people my way is the right way especially when it comes to my parents. They call me Cobra Commander because I constantly boss them around and push them to do things that I think will better The Wheels of Grace, they don’t always agree with me immediately.
My typical Ashley thought would be to force them into reading The Happiness Project, but with my new resolution I will not even tell them about the book or why I decided to document our resolutions because
1. They have a list of books I asked them to read months, maybe even years ago and they have not read one of my recommended books.
2. I cannot force people to do what I want.
Here is a list of their resolutions that has no part to do with me at all. I did not edit their resolutions; I did not make suggestions or try to get them to change their resolutions, because I cannot force people to do what I want. See it isn’t even the New Year and I’m already making personal improvements.
Norah
Do not allow dust to get on my bible. Take time to get into God’s Word to learn and grow.
Turn off all the noise in my life weekly. Practice being still and knowing that he is God. Unplug my mind and all of my electronic devices. Meditate!
Help motivate, encourage, and inspire anyone who is in need by listening, praying, supporting, and if crying is required, pass the tissues.
Start to read. Commit to reading at least 1 book every two months = reading 6 books by next year. This will help me to exercise my mind to keep it sharp.
Lose weight. I want to lose 50 pounds by exercising and eating well. I want to participate in a physical event, like a marathon. I want to achieve this so I can show myself that with a plan and a little bit of focus my goal is attainable. I would like to share with others that a strong body comes with a strong mind.
Grow in my faith. I want to pray more every day. I want to make it a point to pray 4 times a day at the least. I want to memorize bible verses to get me through the days.
Unbossy. Stop convincing people to do what I want.
Money. I have a bad habit of spending my money instead of saving. I am often plagued by consumerism and my biggest goal is to put my money towards my student loan debt instead of the usual make-up, clothes, books, and other random items I usually spend it on.
Writing. We are all working hard to finish writing our book. I hope that 2015 is our year. I also have a secret writing project I am currently working on. Details to come soon.
We (or maybe just I) want to follow up with our resolutions and accomplish our personal goals. At the end of January there will be a new post on how we are keeping our resolutions.
We would love to hear your New Years Resolutions. We can try and help you keep them; comment telling us what your resolutions are and we’ll keep in touch with you. If you hold us accountable we’ll do the same for you.
In November Sergio asked me what kind of gift I would like for Christmas. I quickly responded that I did not want any gifts this year. I had already decided in my heart that I truly did not need a thing and after looking around at all the treasures my home held it was confirmation my needs and wants have been met. After the puzzled look came off of Sergio’s face I continued to tell him my plan. I honestly had put a lot of thought into what I “wanted” this year.
I got down to his level placed my nose against his nose, this is how I get his attention, and begged him to honor my wishes. I explained to him that I have everything I need and I would feel so much better if I would stat to give all the extra things in our home and pass them on to someone that needed them. I knew of families that have very little and here I sat with extra and some. He agreed with my idea.
Once I had the opportunity to actually give some of the items away it made me realize how I started out with hand me downs and how much I appreciated them. Now I remember them given to me in love. This is something that I want to encourage others to consider doing. Look around at all that you have been blessed with. Do you have some things in your home that you no longer use. Do you have things that you are hanging on to that you could do without. Think about your neighbor that may not even have a Christmas tree or a nice dress to wear on Christmas day. It is a win win situation. Blesses the giver and the receiver.
This Christmas take the time to look at how blesses you are. Take time to reflect on how God has taken care of all your needs.
For my family and friends that want to give me something for Christmas here is my list.
Time
Love
Respect
Kindness
Understanding
Hugs
Kisses
Laughter
Compassion
Patience
Grace
Or if you’re feeling ambitions a gift I would enjoy is for you to come over and clean my house, daily, or weekly, I’d even settle for monthly. Or just once will always be appreciated.
As I tread though.
What are some gifts you’ll be giving this Christmas?
Recently I felt myself in a free-fall and had no idea how to slow it down, let alone stop it. I was over whelmed at work and I felt the demand it has on my every day life. I was overwhelmed with taking care of my family while trying to balance work.
I wasn’t eating right or sleeping right. This didn’t just start happening, it had been growing for months and I kept saying to myself “What is wrong with you? Get it together, handle it, you’re a big boy.” But my pep talks didn’t help and things continued to get worse.
I needed to step back and ask what do I do next? Give up and throw my hands in the air?
After many hours of soul searching and praying for an answer the light turned on. The reason things got so out of control was I had forgotten that I had to have
Balance
Balance was missing and I felt like a one sided coin. The coin of life needs to get balance from each side; on one side you need achievement which is where you find success, fulfillment, production, and capability, on the other side of the coin you need enjoyment where you find happiness, pleasure, relaxation, satisfaction, thrill and where you find the WOW in life.
You cant have one with out the other. Trying to live on one side of the coin is why some successful people are unhappy and overwhelmed. They may find themselves feeling like I felt; in a free-fall. I needed to find balance before I started to damage myself with every day that passed. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed for a long period of time and not like what you see in the mirror. The opposite of achievement and enjoyment will be realized after time and you will start to suffer from depression, sadness, pain, misery on one side of your coin and on the other you will find defeat, failure, idleness and loss.
Once I came to see that balance was missing in my life I set out to fix it by making sure to I was focusing on the 4 areas of my life that needed balance.
Family, Work, Self and Spirit.
I now know that I need to contribute to each one of these area on a daily basis by focusing on achievement and enjoyment. It doesn’t mean that I have to spend equal amounts of time on each, just that each are visited daily. So that I don’t become one sided.
If someone were to ask me “What is your purpose in life?”
I’d say, “I want to achieve something today and I want to enjoy something today.”
If I do both of those things, I’m going to have a pretty good day. And if I do both of these things every day, for the rest of my life, I’m going to have a good life.
I think this is true for all of us. Life will deliver the value and balance we desire.
Simple concepts. And once you focus on them as key components of your day, they are not that hard to implement. So, make it happen, for yourself, your family and all the important individuals you care about…every day for the rest of your life.
Recently the three of us traveled to New York City for the annual NAPCRG (North American Primary Care Research Group) conference. We are all part of the Community Advisory Committee for the High Plains Research Network and were graciously invited to attend this conference in NYC. Norah and Sergio have attended several NAPCRG conferences, but this was my first time.
The conference was filled with research projects and it made me feel like I was in college all over again. P < 0.05 (in case anyone is a research nerd.) Learning is my favorite activity. Attending conferences is another one of my favorite activities because they are filled with people who are not only knowledgable, but who also want to learn. Spoiler alert, nerd alert.
Our hotel was located in Times Square. Right in the middle of all the action. You cannot see the sun shinning but you can see flashing lights from all the TV screens. Are they even called TV when they are that giant? I don’t think big screen is a justifiable term.
The noise never stops and sleeping was difficult. I’m from the plains where cop sirens are a rare noise. Horn honking is something I never hear. I loved the city, but it made me appreciate my small town life.
I got an I heart NY shirt because some clichés are clichés for a reason.
The most memorable was when we rode the subway to visit the 9/11 Memorial. We got off the subway and surprise there was no elevator, we kind of expected it but we couldn’t let that stop us. Everyone one except for me, picked up Sergio, and his wheelchair to carry him up the stairs. Instead of helping I took pictures. We did not let this hinder our experience. Sometimes you need a little boost, push, or a lift to get you where you want. The end result is always worth it.
The Wheels of Grace must continue to roll despite slight obstacles.
The 9/11 Memorial is stunning. I couldn’t really speak when I peered inside the deep empty holes where the towers used to stand. I honestly didn’t know what the memorial looked like. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I hadn’t seen pictures of it. I’ve seen the Washington Monument in person, I’ve seen the Lincoln Memorial in person, I went to the statue of Liberty on this same trip. I loved visiting those sites but you stand in front of them and you look at them and you take a picture and then you walk on. You find yourself thinking about what other tourists places you can squeeze into your trip.
But the 9/11 Memorial kept me there for longer then the time it takes to snap a picture and walk away. It kept me captivated.
It is very symbolic because instead of building a monument to stand up high in the sky it was build in the preexisting foundation of the Twin Towers. In order to see the beauty you have to walk right up to the memorial and look down into the waterfalls
It kept me thinking and reflecting on my country and my life. It may have hit hard because it is the first catastrophe I’ve witnessed in my country. All other catastrophes I’ve only read in text books. I did not see this one first hand but it was a day when all of our worlds changed. They day when we all knew exactly where we were all day, watching the news.
The next day we mapped out a route to The Statue of Liberty and made sure all the stops were wheelchair accessible. Other times in life instead of taking a boost or a push you have to take an alternative route to get to your destination. It is all about learning from experience and knowing that the end result is always worth it.
We met a man on the subway who noticed we were lost, tourists needing direction. He gave us traveling advice, we thanked him and he replied,
“It takes a village.”
It does take a village to get through this thing called life, but we keep rolling on.
